Have you recently experienced a difficult stretch in your life? Perhaps you have grieved over a lost loved one? Perhaps a disease, or difficulties at work? No one likes to deal with any of this, and I am no exception. If I had choice, I would never undergo any of this, but God has His own plan.
Since I can remember, I have this recurring dream. Someone is chasing me and I am very scared; in terror, I lose my mobility and strength to run away or to fight back. As you can imagine, how can you not get caught that way? I always scream when the bad guy is getting close to get me and the scream wakes me up. I am so familiar with this nightmare that I thought this is just a normal byproduct from having stress in my life. But then, two nights ago there was a totally different ending. I was suddenly no longer scared by the bad guy. Instead, I was able to fight back and got him under arrest.
When I woke up the next morning, I certainly felt good about it. My co-author Christian told me he had a very similar releasing nightmare a while back back
that turned out to be a key moment for his spiritual breakthrough. When I contemplated my recent life episodes I couldn't spot any big recent changes, except perhaps having a totally different attitude about my life.
My life has been very difficult since my father passed away a year ago. Since then I have undergone many nightmares, such as repeatedly moving continents, family stress and health challenges. One year has passed and sometimes I still wonder when I can see the light again. I minded that all the moving last year took a toll on me, and don't look so glamorous any more; I minded that I didn’t look happy the way I used to. I minded that I couldn’t experience the bliss and peace any more, until one day, I surrendered to all this and am not afraid of the difficulties I face today.
I suddenly realize that if this is God’s plan for my life now, I am going to experience it, no matter what. I am not afraid of the pain and difficulty that may be coming my way. I am going to experience it and grow with it. With this trust and surrender, suddenly, the fear left me. Time may tell, but I think this fear of the unknown was the bad guy in my dream. Well, he is safely locked up now.
I know for sure now that everything that comes my way is best for my soul development. How can you have any fear or resistance to walk through the tunnel if you know God is waiting for you on the other side? With this trust, I proceed.
By Su Zhen