We make two serious mistakes in our relationships with one another. The first is to assume that we all live in the same world, experiencing the same reality. It simply is not true to assume that your world and mine are the same. (...) The second is to assume that I can change my world, or you, without first experiencing some needed change within myself. E. Graham Howe & William Stranger, “The Druid of Harley Street"
It took me a long time to figure the first insight out. Each of us lives a story, which is being revised all the time, and no one has any business commenting on the journey of the fellow next to him unless specifically asked for constructive feed-back. God says in Neale Walsch' Conversations with God that no-one has any business judging Adolf Hitler. Well, given that I am German with a heavy load of collective guilt on my shoulder, I found this a tough statement to swallow, but directionally this sentiment goes in the right direction.
Graham Howe remarked in "The Druid of Harley Street" that after every death we should stop and applaud the journey of the departed soul. We have no idea what he has gone through unless we have walked in his shoes for a while ourselves. Faced with relativity, keep your eyes on your path and live and let live.