When People are Wired Differently

The way to move out of judgment is to move into gratitude. (Neale Donald Walsch)

I tend to be quite "rational" if such a thing exists. I see the strength and weaknesses of people pretty accurately, and tend to be fair as well. I also have a good memory of past events. Where I need some help though, I tend to be fairly self-critical and for some reason cannot shut up the nagging inner voice that always finds fault with something I did in the past.

There was a time when I thought that every "rational" person would see the world like me. When I met people who had a self-aggrandizing view of the world, I would naturally judge them. But then, one day it struck me that my "happy go lucky" friends, who lack the ability to see fault in anything, they do probably also don't suffer from the self-critical nagging voice that I hear all the time. Who can say who is less rational? The voice inside myself is definitely mad. Perhaps the truth, as always, lies somewhere in the middle. 

Maybe because I am so self-critical, I tend to attract people who are "happy go lucky". In the meantime I have simply stopped thinking about how others perceive the world. Today, I would simply state that my friends are somehow wired differently. Isn't it nice that my "happy go lucky friends" don't have to experience the same nagging voice that always puts me down? Today I accept them just as they are and focus on their upbeat interpretation of events instead. At work we function together quite well for the reason that we view the world so differently.

I don't aspire to be "rational", I aspire to be whole. I welcome my "happy go lucky" friends into my life to teach me to be kinder with myself. Just as I wrote this note I stumbled on the "other" Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I'm working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that YOU already love me just the way I am.