Tuesday, September 6, 2016

On Conflicted Personalities

It is quite alright to be conflicted as long as we are willing to do something about it. Have you ever noticed how in the past you were able to deal with setbacks and mishaps just fine, whereas today you couldn't tolerate it any longer to the same degree? So if we stay conflicted without doing something about it, we will one day simply crash into a wall. We all need something to look forward to; we require some light at the end of the tunnel in order to keep going. Deliberate unraveling of conflicted energy gives us this optimism to do better in the future.

I had a colleague who wanted success so bad that she was even willing to abuse others in order to get there. But when it was her time to close a deal and finally get what she had aspired, something would hold her back from following through. It happened again and again and I never really understood why. Over time her frustration would only grow and then one day she simply walked out on us, unable to handle all the stress, anger and frustration. 

I am also conflicted. It took me the longest time to figure that I am, and even longer to understand why. Today I know that I am hungry as a lion, but peaceful as a lamb at the same time. It might take a long time to allow these forces to coexist in me, but one day I will. Well, we are writing the story of our "self" every day, so we can edit out the inconsistencies until one day it all fits together. Every idea can be expressed a little differently next time around; every action can be refined and every mistake can be apologized for with the implicit promise to do better next time around. 

Create the story of "you" that is conflict free. It is often an uphill struggle but as long as the conflicts deflate a little with every passing day, you will one day be grateful for the tensions of the past for they did determine who you become. It hurts at times to stand up to conflict, but when your life story depends on following through, you will do it. It takes will-power to avoid temptation but when your peace of mind depends on it, you will do it as well. A life-story is written one pen stroke at a time. Eliminating my conflicts seems straight-forward enough for isn't it written, "the lion and the lamb shall lie together"? Strength and peace don't conflict each other. And if they do today, I can always try a little differently tomorrow.

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