BEING (davidWellens, Strive, Blog at Spiritual Networks Community)
We humans have the capacity of becoming aware of our agenda and reflecting on it. We aim to get somewhere and at the same time we are the one who hears this somewhat alien voice that says, "do this and do that". At the point when the observer kicks in we in fact have a real choice of what to do, whereas before we were merely a robot helplessly exposed to our subconscious drives.
Has it ever occurred to you that your admirable search for GOD could be in fact another strive? More noble certainly than making a lot of money, or being famous, or collecting carvings on the bed frame, but still subject to the subconscious drive to become someone. I often wonder whether I write, read and reflect so much on spirituality just because I really don't like my job very much and even in my private time have much less passion than I feel I deserve. So trapped in the perceived ugliness of what is, the "I" looks for a way out, the search for GOD.
We don't have to apologize for searching GOD, just as the hedge fund manager doesn't have to apologize for runnning after money. We just have to become aware of the psychological game we are playing with ourselves. Kurt Tepperwein once described awakening in the following way. He said that when we search for enlightenment we travel our path to the best of our abilities until one day we stop and smell the roses only to find at that blessed moment that we are already "there". So stop striving, just be!