I have been a pleasure seeking person all my life, like many of us are. What makes me perhaps a bit special, I also have an extreme sensitivity to pain. As far as I can remember, I have always hated pain, be it physical or emotional,
I remember, when I was little, my mom used to ask me to help out farming in the fields, just like all my other siblings had to. However, I would keep running home and refused to work there. Strangely, my mom let me do whatever I wanted, so I never worked in the fields.
Same when I reached school age, I remember how I hated PE. I thought it was torture and I wondered how the other students accepted it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I always tried my best to do the least in the activities that I hated doing.
When it came to learning the different subjects at school, I magically could learn everything fast and could figure it out by myself. Of course, there was always something very difficult which was beyond my ability, and I didn't bother to figure it out. So I might not always have been an honor student but I could get the grade I wanted pretty easily.
So in a way I didn’t really know what hard work Is all about even though I have decent academic credentials. In a way, I wrapped myself in a bubble and stayed in my comfort zone. Most of the time I could get people to do what I had no interest doing. Until I had to deal with my son’s autism. Suddenly I had to show up myself and help him, whether I liked it or not. I simply had no other choice.
My son's autism has taught me an important spiritual lesson. It transformed me from being someone who would easily have given up into a fighter with determination and persistence. It changed me from someone who would have looked for easy solutions to a problem solver who will err and try until the right solution presents itself. All for the love of my son, I have changed from a pleasure seeking person to a spiritual traveler. Isn't that amazing?
What I am going through today is transforming into the person I was born to become. I salute you, dear teacher Autism!
By Su Zhen