My 12 year old son often complains how hard it is to break into his elitist school. I tell him he might as well get used to it because the scene will come back again and again. It is hard to be an outsider, but being part of a club also has a price. You have to be part of the energy of the place, and have to think like the 'leaders' do. You are encouraged to stay away from the outsiders, even if you like them. You are essentially fabricating a web of commands that may not be the real you at all, but with lots of mental energy you can build it and maintain it.
I would never advice either of my sons to become a spiritual traveler like me. If it happens fine, if not, that's also fine. While we have many loving relationships walking the WAY, there always is also a little bit of that lone wolf feeling. We just cannot get in bed with those sheep that willingly follow their leaders. We scare them, and to us they seem as if they are captured by some dark energy. I know it is hard, but if you are a spiritual traveler you occasionally have to override the instinct to belong.