My Father Used to Punish Me When I Cried

My father used to punish me whenever I cried.  I was confused at that time, though.  In my little mind, why did I get punished for feeling sad?

When I was little, I used to cry whenever I woke up from a nap.  I didn’t know where I was, and I didn’t know what I was.  I was surprised to see that I had a body and couldn’t recognize it.  I felt so lost.  There was a profound shock for being on earth.

I didn’t understand my father at that time, that is, until yesterday. Suddenly  I observed that I was mad at people for expressing their anger or emotions.  Isn’t that my reaction to other people’s feelings, just like what my father did to me?

We have expectations about how people should be.  Whenever they don’t meet our expectations, we feel angry or annoyed.  These expectations include how they should feel.  Don’t we all live with our minds and not the reality? And at that particular moment, I reconciled with my father for what he did.

Do you do this to yourself?  Do you feel upset about yourself when you feel down or angry?  Isn’t that a conflicting world when we live in our minds and not the reality?

By Suzanne Yang