In Search of Wholeness - Bringing our Feelings Along

What a liberation to realize that the voice in my head is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that. 

(Eckhart Tolle)

Caroline Knapp was a recovering anorexic, as well as an alcoholic. She spent years soul-searching what her afflictions were all about. In her book, 'Appetites', she started out her narrative by reminding us that Renoir's main painting mission was to capture the lusty, pleasureful and sensual female body. Both she and Renoir understood that the voluptuous curves in women symbolize physical abundance. Why was she starving herself to death instead? Why couldn't she grant abundance to herself just the same?

A multi-year soul-searching process started during which she figured everything out. Her feeling of superiority, for example, when she slowly and deliberately spooned her allotted meal of a yoghurt while the frivolous folks sitting next to her munched creamy pasta. The self-punishment of starvation and binge drinking that somehow had to compensate for the suffocating upbringing by her lifeless and depressed parents. She tried compensating by always being the model student but sometime during her college days it all came crashing down. Eventually, with plenty of will-power and insight she left both afflictions behind. Sadly though, she couldn't enjoy wholeness and health much as cancer got the better of her abused body.

Understanding psychological processes is important for facing inner demons and awakening to who we truly are beneath the hood. Eckhart Tolle's realization that the Observer can call the shots despite the voice in our head is a good one. Yet, who exactly is the Observer? Is it the voice of superiority, judgement and righteousness that looks down on unconscious behavior? Hardly, that’s the very super ego that is responsible for bringing out the demons on the sleepless full-moon nights. Instead of creating mental compartments of right and wrong, we should listen to our feelings instead—all of them, the happy and fulfilled ones just as the distressed signals that cry murder.

The Observer that Eckhart Tolle alludes to is a full body experience, not just a voice in our head. It’s the goose-bumps when we stumble on the magic of the moment. It’s a tingling in the Crown Chakra when you know the Truth. It’s the Heart Energy that feels and expresses Love, and the Third Eye vision that perceives Oneness in every situation. Enjoy these moments of spiritual bliss as they present themselves and get to the root cause of the problem if something feels off. In life’s endless ups and downs, listen to your feelings as the messenger of your body and soul. 

Listen to what makes your heart jump; love, professional success, the beauty of nature and things, sex, traveling, wealth, and surround yourself with whatever is meaningful to you. Let your feelings as well as your understanding guide you and create you personal Garden of abundance and fulfillment. We achieve wholeness with spiritual living. We tune into what truly matters to us and get it, but we also understand the siren songs of desire and fear and are not falling for the endless treadmill of filling an inner void that cannot be filled with people and things. Everyone can experience Renoir's joie de vivre, no matter how beaten up we may be on occasions. Be mindful of the voice, but always join life's invite to dance as well. We already know that we are whole. Let life demonstrate that it is so. That's how we bring our feelings along.