Guilt doesn’t present itself as “I am very guilty.” Most of the time it presents itself with different masks and different forms. I have a friend who is sick all the time. In the beginning, he didn’t realize that he had guilt, but after a lot of talks, he suddenly realized that he wanted to be sick to balance his guilt.
Most of the time we cannot perceive directly that we feel guilty, so I want to be sick instead. Don’t we all feel sick for a long time, seeing a lot of different specialists, can't recover, and then we keep looking, we keep seeking? Don’t we all walk a long way to discover what’s the root cause of this disease? How does guilt influence us in our daily life?
Whenever we feel guilty, we feel difficult to reject people when they ask for help and then we feel unfairly treated. Whenever there is injustice, we will say to ourselves, just forget about it, he is a poor guy. We will use some concepts to justify our guilt.
When we are unfairly treated, to some degree, we will feel angry. Sometimes we are angry inside, full of anger, then our kids will be in trouble, or people close to us will be in trouble. When you accumulate a lot of anger, you become resentful. The belief beneath this is, I cannot be well, or I cannot be happy.
Unless you can see this yourself, or you will indulge yourself in grievance, and then feel angry and resentment. Your life will run under the pattern of “I cannot be well and I cannot be happy.”
If you find Suzhen Liu’s writings helpful, please check out her book, ‘Letting Go—Release Your Suffering’ on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Release-Your-Suffering/dp/1982258004
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