Are we there yet?

 I remember the day when something shifted inside as if it was yesterday. It was early in 2008 when my colleagues discussed the troubles brewing in the global financial system, but I missed most of it. Time stood still and I experienced a blissful stillness I had never encountered before. 

 

Fast forward ten years or so when I wrote about my awakening experience in a spiritual discussion group.  One commentator replied, “What,  you have been awakened for so long and are still not enlightened? What’s wrong with you!” When I saw her response I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  

 

You read this post so something must be amiss otherwise you would be out and about smelling the roses, or maybe sitting somewhere enjoying the bliss of being. I write so there must be a lingering restlessness in me as nothing beats the bliss of silence. Yet, in our act of reading and writing the two of us become one. It’s my mission to write these insights and it is yours to connect with me here and now.

 

Most teachings you encounter are either life coaching—the attempt to help you become a “better you”—or instructions how to become enlightened—the feat of dropping this self that we identify with altogether. Either approach can have pitfalls, my writings tend to do both.

 

Self-improvement, awakening, enlightenment are mere mental concepts—meaningless in the here and now. How can we improve or classify a person if we know that this entity is illusionary. Embrace Grace when it visits, and grab the ball for the rebound when life got the better of you and you missed the shot once again. 

 

Everyone has a chance of standing in the Light. Everyone can also get the insight that life—humbling as it can be—sets us up perfectly for the next spiritual moment. The upside of doing is that an invisible bridge appears when we take the first step across the perceived abyss; the revelation collapses the illusionary mountain to our level without the need to go anywhere or do anything.  Both modes coexist. In the step is the path, and our journey is one without distance.

 

I am less naive today than the person who awakened 15 years ago. On the flip side,  I may also have become less patient. My facial features were softer then, but I appreciate my looks today just as much as I did then. I sleep better these days and have amazing spiritual experiences in the early morning hours. That’s certainly an upgrade, but I also had amazing moments of Grace then. They just happened more often in the outside world. Everything has changed from one perspective, and nothing has from another.

 

That’s the paradox of the spiritual quest. We can open up to the power of now in time, and we can look through the illusion of time just the same. Sometimes we encounter being in doing, but often being circumvents annoying doing. Tell me, if our notion of self is illusionary then who exactly aspires to be enlightened? 

 

So, are we there yet?