The new female and the new male are partners on a journey of spiritual growth. They want to make the journey. Their love and trust keep them together. Their intuition guides them. They consult with each other. They are friends. They laugh a lot. They are equals. That is what a spiritual partnership is: a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.
Gary Zukav
My first mentee found me years ago. I had exchanged a few messages with her in a spiritual community before and one day she asked me whether I knew anything about twin flames. I had to admit then that I didn’t so she told me what she had experienced. She felt someone on a deep emotional level and experienced everything he was going through, hundreds of miles away. It sounded hard to believe at the time but she convinced me that her experience was true. Her descriptions were just too detailed and precise to be made up. Well, it turned out over the months that even though he had also felt that connection, he in fact had moved on for some reason and started living his own life. She went through hell at that time and I gave her the advice to stay as far away from his energy as possible and to start living her own life. Unfortunately, I couldn’t resonate enough with her pain at that time given that I had never experienced such a powerful connection myself.
Years later I met someone else at a spiritual get-together who also admitted that she was in a twin relationship. She said her spiritual partner is married with kids and lived in a town away from her. She said that they rarely communicate but that she can feel everything that he is going through. I replied, “But that sounds awful!” to which she responded dryly, “Yup, a twin flame is a little like sandpaper—it scratches your remaining ego involvement away.” The twin flame connection is something some spiritual people encounter. Several of my spiritual friends had a deep spiritual connection with a significant other and had tough choices to face because of it. The heart wants what it wants. When our significant other shows up we have little choice but to engage and see where the union leads to. Twin flame relationships can be messy, and even poisonous at times; but when they work out, the burning union can catapult both partners to unbelievable heights of Consciousness.
When I reached out to a friend who has written extensively on twin flame relationships and the sacred sexual union between lovers—tantra yoga—to help me with this chapter, she told me that she had moved away from getting involved in working with people on this confusing subject. “Everyone is just projecting their romantic longings”, she said, and true, it’s sometimes hard to keep the spiritual dimension apart from the human craving to love and be loved. Yet, the whole purpose of the twin flame connection is to break through to the highest level of Consciousness in the loving union of partners. When it works out we experience bliss and when it doesn’t, we discover unconditional love the hard way. A transformation is always in store because of it. As one survey participant described her twin flame experience, “The catalyst to awakening was meeting my twin soul in 2011 and having my heart broken wide open into the world of unconditional love.”
I have enjoyed a decade-long partnership with a healer who lived on the other side of the planet when I first met her. She was born in Taiwan and represents Asia, while I was born in Germany and represent the West. We used to be polar opposites in everything. My quest was about finding Oneness in life and finding spiritual messages in all day-to-day occurrences. She found the center of her being in meditation and nature. I have always been a creature of the light while she perks up in rainstorms. In the early years of our interaction we published many notes on wholeness and the Tao Te Ching together. In later years, Suzanne helped me as a healer when my work stress drove me crazy and encouraged me to face my inner pain body. Her biggest contribution in my spiritual growth was to help me understand that I am not my mind. Like the fish that can’t experience its water connection without leaving it, I probably would never have realized this on my own.
We both experienced meaningful synchronicities when we met, convincing us that this partnership was worth our attention. The serendipities that we experienced were amazing. I was able to connect with her on my business trips in Asia but the biggest breakthrough in our working relationship happened when serendipity had it that her husband was transferred from Asia to Boston. For a year we were living just a mile apart. Yet, in all the years full of joy, creativity and empowerment, there were also a few frowns and tears. After a while we started going in different directions. At one point, it even looked to me as if we were going our separate ways. “Suzanne stands for sandpaper,” I said to her accusingly when we were fighting regularly, to which she replied, “No, Suzanne stands for serenity. Your mind is making up these stories of separation.” She was right. We kept our friendship and working relationship intact and recently translated and published the book “Letting Go—Release Your Suffering” together. During the times of struggle Suzanne would often text me out of the blue and ask, “Are you ok?”, knowing with an accuracy rate of 100 percent that I was not. When I realized that deep long-distance connection I asked her, “Does that mean that we are twin flames as well?”, to which she replied, “I can have this psychic connection with anyone. I only have to tune into the person.” Well, that’s the power of Oneness that some of us have access to.
There is no question that the union of yin and yang is a powerful magnet and engine that can catapult us into these “out-of-self” states. I had many personal experiences in that direction, and will share an incredible experience in the upcoming chapter about the workings of kundalini energy. Our wholeness begs for the union of the feminine and masculine. That’s what the spiritual quest is all about, the transcendence of existing dualities. In a sense, spiritual soul partnerships and twin flame connections are not that different from the traditional guru and disciple relationship, a marriage or the privilege of raising children. It takes a village to lift a soul to ascension. Be glad if you can play your role in helping others and rest assured that love always surrounds you. In all areas of our life, it’s a privilege and a blessing to walk that sacred journey with a soul sibling. Take care of your partner and know that you are blessed every moment you travel the journey together.
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