The drift

 The death of occupation of the mind, is the beginning of silence. There is no ending of thought through compulsion, discipline, any form of resistance. Listening to the story of what is brings its own liberation. Only when thought ends is there truth. (J. Krishnamurti)

 

The drift was always there, though in parts of my life it was mostly subconscious. Not sure what motivated me to put my heart and soul into my studies—it wasn’t my parents. It must have been the desire to be someone. Same in academics and work. Then came the shift and I realized what living in the here and now was all about, but the drift remained. I saw my mission in light-working but a desire for expression and recognition remained.

 

I do not want to speak for others. We are all on our idiosyncratic journey. The Bhagavad Gita describes three natures, the conflicted or lazy—tamas—the driven like me—rajas—and the serene— sattva. Everyone has a shot at connecting with the here and now, it’s just that we approach it differently. The conflicted have to find the root cause of the interference; the driven have to find their mission and the serene have to express the here and now.

 

I am writing about the drift because now I recognize it as pure energy. I am still pulled into projects, but I no longer consciously seek them and also no longer seek myself in them. I am aware of that river that flows into the ocean and just float. Everyone experiences this drift no matter what our respective nature. There comes a time when the mind becomes still in this quest. Maybe that’s when the journey ends, maybe the drift continues.

 

Actually, it doesn’t matter much—stillness is in the here and now.