The Cancerous Force

The Course in Miracles claims that there is a cancerous drive in you - the ego - that is on collision course with God and that afterwards beats you up over it. The question is, can you observe this force in you? You might have seen a few select people where this force is so out in the open that it actually becomes visible, but for most of us, this force is hidden inside, that is, if the conjecture of the Course in Miracles is the right one and it indeed exits. In my experience it does, but you may have to do a little digging before it becomes visible.

One area where this cancerous force comes out of hiding is the painful journey towards addiction. Gambling, sex, alcohol or drugs, you name it, the paths all tend to be quite similar. It is a journey into bondage where at one point Mr. Hyde gets the upper hand and Dr. Jekyll has to watch helplessly how the 'you' takes one step after the other down the path of destruction. With an addiction, the cancerous force is out in the open and you, and soon everyone else, can see it very clearly. Every further step towards it and its grip tightens, every step in the opposite direction, difficult though it may be, and you realize that you get your freedom back. Fighting addiction is like a cancer treatment. You throw everything you got at it to turn the car around, and you actually weaken the 'you' in the interim before you slowly get your old self back.

Dear reader, this is an advanced course as you probably have figured out by now.It's not about having a pleasant life with a few mystic powers attached, our spiritual path is about getting our freedom back. The average person may be lucky enough not to face this cancerous force, but you will. If the conjecture of the Course of Miracle is correct and deep inside of you hides a force that wants to prevent you from going home, you will have to encounter it as you remove layer after layer of your personality blanket. On the way to your core you will meet it. In my experience it is nothing to be afraid of, you just have to be willing to look. You probably have already a hunch in which area of your personality structure it will be hiding. Buddha faced sex and Jesus faced power as their last temptation before the final curtain lifted; what will be your temptation?

I don't know what will happen to the force once you look at it and decide to move on despite it's calling. Will the cancer just be in remission, or will it shrink into nothing?  In the same vein as a recovered addict knows that the temptation to go back is always present, but chooses to walk along the road towards freedom instead.