Puppets of the Tao

We all tend to blame ourselves for our shortcomings. We hate that we are not able to accomplish whatever we set our minds to. In my own experience, you should never worry about what you might have overlooked in the past and never blame yourself. If something doesn't work out despite your best efforts, the Tao has probably better plans for you and She always knows best.

There was a time when I wanted to be a 'better mother'. I certainly knew what I should have done instead, but I was unable to fulfill my high expectations. Yet after this rocky period, I realized that I didn't really have a choice at all at that time. A strange force was in control of me and I didn't have the ability to break away from it.

Last night I was reminiscing and first I started again blaming myself for not having been a better mother, but then out of a sudden I started forgiving myself as I realized that I did the best I could at that time. I also remembered the mistakes my parents made and I realized that they probably also tried doing their best. That is what every generation does. We repeat the cycle our parents started and we try to improve on it. But then we leave some homework for our children as well.

We are also biased in our thinking. We zoom into the mistakes that we make but forget about all the good stuff we do. Blame and guilt are very negative emotions - they drain your energy. Forgive yourself and others as best as you can and then try to move on.

You can only truly forgive others if you are able to forgive yourself. If you have a balanced view of yourself, you will also be able to apply the same to others. Try to appreciate your short-comings and enjoy how they enable you to be much kinder with others. Everything is perfect as is. Every yin comes with a yang attached. For every Dalai Lama there is a Mao Zedong; for every John F. Kennedy there is a Adolf Hitler. The Tao creates hurricanes as well as sunshine. Accept and value the forces that are beyond your comprehension and put your best foot forward in all the things that you can affect.

On occasions we are just pawns of the Tao. Too often, we think we have the ability to decide what we can do. Often this apparent degree of freedom doesn't really exist. The Tao is the puppet master behind the scenes and we have to do whatever it is what we do, because our karma and the evolution of the world dictates it. Forgive yourself for the mistakes of the past, reflect and try to do your best next time around. One day you will break free from the chains and if not you, your children will because you have laid the foundation for them.

By Su-Zhen