The Way Through the Darkness Into the Light

Brother, the war against your self is almost over.
A Course in Miracles

Describing the shadow self is exactly like describing the ego, it is perhaps possible for you to identify the war that is going on inside, but it is pretty much impossible to communicate it in a way that is meaningful to people who don't share your problems. We all think that we are sitting on our own island, that we have our idiosyncratic problems when in fact we all face the same struggle; yet, each problem is carefully dressed in different clothes, so it is impossible to grasp what your soul sister is going through at the same time.

You probably feel that there are some impurities inside yourself that are holding you back from experiencing who you truly are. If you are a Tao traveler, it is probably dawning on you that you are on a journey through the darkness into the light. Your destination is wholeness and holiness, the only question is how will you get there. I hope that this note can help you in finishing the last steps of your journey home.

The facets of the different shadow personalities are numerous. You may struggle with hidden aggressions, or you may secretly attack yourself. You may be driven to be a best selling spiritual author or you may be an endless worrier. You may struggle with compulsive behaviors or you may have prince charming fantasies. It doesn't matter what it is, step one in the process is to acknowledge that there is something off and step two is to do something about it. The Tao will make everything as simple as 1 2 3 for you. In step 3 you will have incorporated all aspects of your personality in a wholesome way and you will experience an energy supply and a connectedness which are multiples of where you are today.

Tolerance for pain may be high, but it is not without limits. Eventually everyone begins to recognize that there must be a better way.
A Course in Miracles

Tao travelers are not any "better" than other people, we are all children of God. What is different though, we are suddenly given the chance of putting the pieces of the divine puzzle together. The laws of cause and effects become visible for us in real life. It seems that time and space "shrinks" for us. For all other folks the effects of karma are hard to study because cause and effect come in different stages of their lives and in different situations, so it is close to impossible to put the pieces together. A Tao traveler can see pretty much immediately when the Law of Oneness is violated. For example, I have a latent ear infection. Whenever I allow any impurities in my life, my ear infection is immediately acting up, without fail. This is not God punishing me for what I may or may not have done. This my subconscious being in rage over the situation. After a day or two the disease disappears just the way it came. It is actually fun if you can put the pieces together with little symbolic acts like this one.

A Tao traveler will also go through enormous energy fluctuations which you probably have never experienced that way before. The reason is that your energy centers are opening up, so you experience a surge in energy and you also likely live your life with an intensity that you have never done before. But this also means that impurities will now hit you with the impact of a sledge hammer. You literally feel like dying when that happens and this is the stage when you will finally muster the will-power and the resolve to take the last step. Actually, these "down-phases" also used to happen in the past, but you projected your pain onto the "villains" in your movie plot and felt much happier that way. Today you internalize everything that happens in your life and that brings a new intensity of pain with it. Be glad when you have reached that level of spiritual maturity. Life is really simple that way - if it is you who is causing this pain just use the key that you hold in your hands - cut all impurities out of your life and experience eternal bliss afterwards.

The aspects that need solving do not change, whatever form the problem seems to take. It will recur and then recur again until it is solved forever.
A Course in Miracles

Do not wish your dark side away. This aspect of yourself that thus far you have safely swept under the carpet defines you whether you like it or not. All you have to do is to accept your internal tension and express it in a creative way without undermining your spiritual path. Also, let not anyone but the Tao tell you how your path is supposed to look like. Some spiritual travelers eat meat, some have sex, some work in competitive industries. You define for yourself what you need to get accomplished on your journey. Lord Krishna showed Arjun the path to enlightenment on the battle-field in the Bhagavad Gita. Who knows what demons you have to conquer before you can come home, only you and the Tao can be the judge of that.

Value your internal pressure and see how in time the ugly piece of coal is transformed into a sparkling diamond. Let the problem at hand define the person you were born to be. Honor your problem. You will like the way you look after your transformation is done. Sure, it may be hard work, and it may be scary at times, but then, what choice do you really have?

The Holy Spirit will not deprive you of your special relationship but would transform them.
A Course in Miracles

Who knows why you chosen the path that got you to this stage. Perhaps you have fallen in love with your partner because of some of your not-so-holy desires. Perhaps your best buddy at work has been carefully chosen by you because he can get you that promotion you have always aspired. Do not question the path that got you here, trust instead that it is in you to heal all your motives in time so that you converge with the path of love. The same applies to all the people you interact with. They have signed up for this healing course together with you. Some of your friends may disappear and some new ones might come. Trust that you are in fact in a perfect environment to grow spiritually and see all previous impurities melt away with the help of your soul siblings.

If you find resistance strong and dedication weak you are not ready. Do not fight yourself.
A Course in Miracles

Spiritual path travelers have a big super ego. We have seen Jesus' resolve in dealing with his temptations and Buddha's wisdom and will-power to withstand his. Yet, Buddha spent many years experimenting with his psychological issues, while little is known about Jesus soul-searching process prior to his trip to the desert. When you see a lot of back and forth in your effort to cut out impurities stop and see whether there is anything you can do differently. I spent a lot of time with my compulsive habits cycling back and forth and beating myself up over them afterwards until I made it a conscious effort to experiment with them instead. You can study the change in your energy level, you can see how the environment reacts to you. Make an experiment out of your struggle and see that the Tao is always there for you. Only you can shut down your energy centers, the Tao will always have a welcoming hand stretched out to you no matter what you do. You will find your way to gain wholeness and on this day you will have exactly the same resolve and will-power as Jesus and Buddha had when say said good-by to their internal struggles. It must dawn on you that you are them, right?

Buddha allegedly once said: "The good things, do them - the bad ones, don't." In the end it will be as easy as that, but until you get to that stage, first find out why Mr. Hyde always pops out just when Dr. Jekyll declared that he will now be good for good. Run your dark experiments. What unresolved psychological issues have you still safely stored away? Let the Tao teach you what aspects of your personality you haven't acknowledged yet. Shadow work is a process. Do not be afraid to look into the dark corners of your being. Your hard work and your boldness to confront your dark self will pay off. Wholeness and holiness are waiting for you.

You must choose between total freedom and total bondage, for there is no alternative but these.
A Course in Miracles

I found the answer to all my struggles in this sentence. If you read books on compulsive behaviors and addictions and you will without fail hear about the "trance state". A little external trigger and you experience how your mind is shutting down on you. You can experience this for yourself so clearly. The alcoholic standing in front of the liquor cabinet on a day when his wife is on a business trip while he had a hard day at work may still have a choice. Once the wine bottle is open he no longer does. Once the trance has settled in you will only wake up when the broken China is on the floor.

It is fascinating to watch how all compulsive habits are an escape from freedom. You can also study how the impact of giving in to temptations yet again will linger with you for many days. The day after giving in to the temptation will look different to you than the day before. Afterwards you will have to exert lots of energy to pull yourself out of the hole again. Experiment with your habits with the 21 day rule. Declare yourself mentally insane for 21 days after you have given in to temptation and use your will-power to stay away from your compulsive behavior over this time period. They say that it takes that long for our subconscious system to over-ride a new program. Experience how you are literally a different person with each passing day. If you want to run your dark experiment again after having made it through this ordeal, go right ahead. I promise you will get tired of these iterations sooner rather than later.

An escape from freedom is an absolute no-no to every spiritual traveler. The whole aim of our journey is the opposite, a path towards freedom of choice in everything we do. I have found that it is quite refreshing to experience the "trance state" associated with a compulsive behavior at least once. Afterwards you will do whatever is in your power to liberate yourself from it. When it comes to spirituality, whenever there is a will, there is a way.

When it comes to addictions and compulsive behaviors, the "ordinary folks" want to have their old life back. They want to function normally the way they did before, free of these attacks of compulsion whether they be sex, gambling, substance abuse, alcoholism, shopping, depending on others, working, or whatever else people can get addicted to. The Tao traveler is in a very different position. Once your spiritual path starts in earnest you will never get your old life back. Instead, you will be going through a divine synchronization and refinement process until all that is left is a sparkling diamond.

Delay will hurt you now more than before, only because you realize it is delay, and that escape from pain is really possible.
A Course in Miracles

Addictions show you in the extreme that there is no alternative. There is either a journey into the darkness or into the light and nothing in-between. The "ordinary folks" might be able to coexist in different states of consciousness for decades, for the Tao traveler it is an either or. In fact, the Tao travelers will learn to be in each aspect of their lives, family, hobby, work and spiritual, to be always the same person. And in every aspect they are headed into the light. You know what you have to do in order to cut the pain out of your system. Just cut out each and every impurity, one by one.

Be never fearful of temptation, but see it as another chance to choose again.
A Course in Miracles

There is no need to be afraid of temptations. They will lead you home. Take a step to the right and learn, take a step to the left and gain wholeness. You cannot make a mistake. You will soon learn that you are on a spiral that experiences smaller and smaller oscillations with every step that you take. In the limit there is only peace, joy, love and power.

In this world you can become a spotless mirror in which the Holiness of your Creator shines forth from you to all around you.
A Course in Miracles

Every impurity will be washed away. That is the way of the Tao. Wholeness means holiness, but the way towards getting there may not be waiting for divine inspiration. The difference between spirituality and religion is one of time. You will converge with the holy notions our religions hold and you will get there by holding on to life, not faith. The way towards holiness may well be by exploring your dark side until you have managed to incorporate it into your spiritual being.

When you are weary, remember you have hurt yourself.
A Course in Miracles

Pain can be a great teacher, as can exuberance. The spiral will converge to a single point full of peace, joy, love and power. Let the years be judge whether you are converging with Heaven on earth. Look out to the Tao - She will teach you everything that you need to learn on your journey home.

Nothing real can be threatened,
nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the Peace of God.
A Course in Miracles

There is nothing to regret and nothing to fear. Just finish your journey today and enjoy God's peace. She is waiting for you.