The Journey Home

The Tao is a homecoming journey. To what exactly only those who have finished the journey can tell you and few of them are around. So you have to find out for yourself what walking the Way is all about.

The Tao is a journey of healing, of undoing all the cuts from the past. Do not regret these little injuries, do not blame those who inflicted them. They made you the person you were born to be. You couldn't have reached this point of departure if it weren't for them.

Life is a web that pulls you up. You thought that it could pull you down. I can but only if you believe that it can. The Tao is here to teach you otherwise. Everyone you meet in fact cheers you on. Where you saw enemies before you only saw ghosts of your own making. No one has the power to hurt you, only you can.

Start your journey back to the Source today. Many paths lead you there, ours is that of the Tao. Along the Way everyone roots for you because you make it your premise. Enjoy the healing, the fun, the laughter and the boundless love.

Stop thinking about your final destination. By traveling the Tao you are already there. Many have seen that divine connection. Moses discovered I Am when he saw the burning bush, Arjun discovered the Way on the battlefield in the Bhagavad Gita. King David's Psalm 23 describes the magnificent web of life. Be part of it and be Home already.

Having it Your Way

Arjun in the Bhagavad Gita had a mental break-down when he had to enter a bloody war with his friends and relatives; it was Lord Krishna who reminded him of his mission to do his job whether he liked it or not. Arjun's mental breakdown led to a divine lecture during which Lord Krishna showed him the workings of the universe and explained the different paths to God. Don't get me wrong, no one expects you to fight any wars or do anything that violates your notion of a spiritual path. Arjun was a warrior and fighting wars just happened to be his mission; you have your mission to fulfill. But expect resistance along the Way just because the resistance still lives in you.  No worries though, life - the Tao - is doing its best to remove these interferences for you. That unfortunately means that you have to sleigh a few monsters just like Arjun had to.

What does "having it your way" really mean? You want to be in a professional environment without ugliness, want to raise your children without competing or paying for any top schools, want to live in a nice house without any neighbors looking down on you. You want to be serene, you want to have the ability to meditate, pray,  and emitting positive energy for your environment all the time. Well, if you hit obstacles along this path please respect them. If you see ugliness, greed, competition or stress in your life, chances are certain aspects of your being aren't yet quite as spiritual as you think despite your best intentions.

Celebrate your life as is. Welcome every voice no matter how pleasant or annoying it might be. It is all "you" being reflected back to you. Don't aim for becoming a monk - unless of course being a monk is your mission - that would only mean you are running away from who you are deep down inside. Live your life like everyone else but with with a very different motive. The drive of a Tao traveler is to be always connected with Life. So allow life to "digest" you and see how these hidden tendencies of yours dissolve in the process. You leave them behind just as a snake disposes of its skin.

But you can do that only if you face your life just the way Arjun faced his monsters. Let other people have it their way while you only experience the Way - the Tao. By walking the Tao you live in the best of all worlds, so without aiming for it you essentially have it
your way in the end.

The Way Through the Darkness Into the Light

Brother, the war against your self is almost over.
A Course in Miracles

Describing the shadow self is exactly like describing the ego, it is perhaps possible for you to identify the war that is going on inside, but it is pretty much impossible to communicate it in a way that is meaningful to people who don't share your problems. We all think that we are sitting on our own island, that we have our idiosyncratic problems when in fact we all face the same struggle; yet, each problem is carefully dressed in different clothes, so it is impossible to grasp what your soul sister is going through at the same time.

You probably feel that there are some impurities inside yourself that are holding you back from experiencing who you truly are. If you are a Tao traveler, it is probably dawning on you that you are on a journey through the darkness into the light. Your destination is wholeness and holiness, the only question is how will you get there. I hope that this note can help you in finishing the last steps of your journey home.

The facets of the different shadow personalities are numerous. You may struggle with hidden aggressions, or you may secretly attack yourself. You may be driven to be a best selling spiritual author or you may be an endless worrier. You may struggle with compulsive behaviors or you may have prince charming fantasies. It doesn't matter what it is, step one in the process is to acknowledge that there is something off and step two is to do something about it. The Tao will make everything as simple as 1 2 3 for you. In step 3 you will have incorporated all aspects of your personality in a wholesome way and you will experience an energy supply and a connectedness which are multiples of where you are today.

Tolerance for pain may be high, but it is not without limits. Eventually everyone begins to recognize that there must be a better way.
A Course in Miracles

Tao travelers are not any "better" than other people, we are all children of God. What is different though, we are suddenly given the chance of putting the pieces of the divine puzzle together. The laws of cause and effects become visible for us in real life. It seems that time and space "shrinks" for us. For all other folks the effects of karma are hard to study because cause and effect come in different stages of their lives and in different situations, so it is close to impossible to put the pieces together. A Tao traveler can see pretty much immediately when the Law of Oneness is violated. For example, I have a latent ear infection. Whenever I allow any impurities in my life, my ear infection is immediately acting up, without fail. This is not God punishing me for what I may or may not have done. This my subconscious being in rage over the situation. After a day or two the disease disappears just the way it came. It is actually fun if you can put the pieces together with little symbolic acts like this one.

A Tao traveler will also go through enormous energy fluctuations which you probably have never experienced that way before. The reason is that your energy centers are opening up, so you experience a surge in energy and you also likely live your life with an intensity that you have never done before. But this also means that impurities will now hit you with the impact of a sledge hammer. You literally feel like dying when that happens and this is the stage when you will finally muster the will-power and the resolve to take the last step. Actually, these "down-phases" also used to happen in the past, but you projected your pain onto the "villains" in your movie plot and felt much happier that way. Today you internalize everything that happens in your life and that brings a new intensity of pain with it. Be glad when you have reached that level of spiritual maturity. Life is really simple that way - if it is you who is causing this pain just use the key that you hold in your hands - cut all impurities out of your life and experience eternal bliss afterwards.

The aspects that need solving do not change, whatever form the problem seems to take. It will recur and then recur again until it is solved forever.
A Course in Miracles

Do not wish your dark side away. This aspect of yourself that thus far you have safely swept under the carpet defines you whether you like it or not. All you have to do is to accept your internal tension and express it in a creative way without undermining your spiritual path. Also, let not anyone but the Tao tell you how your path is supposed to look like. Some spiritual travelers eat meat, some have sex, some work in competitive industries. You define for yourself what you need to get accomplished on your journey. Lord Krishna showed Arjun the path to enlightenment on the battle-field in the Bhagavad Gita. Who knows what demons you have to conquer before you can come home, only you and the Tao can be the judge of that.

Value your internal pressure and see how in time the ugly piece of coal is transformed into a sparkling diamond. Let the problem at hand define the person you were born to be. Honor your problem. You will like the way you look after your transformation is done. Sure, it may be hard work, and it may be scary at times, but then, what choice do you really have?

The Holy Spirit will not deprive you of your special relationship but would transform them.
A Course in Miracles

Who knows why you chosen the path that got you to this stage. Perhaps you have fallen in love with your partner because of some of your not-so-holy desires. Perhaps your best buddy at work has been carefully chosen by you because he can get you that promotion you have always aspired. Do not question the path that got you here, trust instead that it is in you to heal all your motives in time so that you converge with the path of love. The same applies to all the people you interact with. They have signed up for this healing course together with you. Some of your friends may disappear and some new ones might come. Trust that you are in fact in a perfect environment to grow spiritually and see all previous impurities melt away with the help of your soul siblings.

If you find resistance strong and dedication weak you are not ready. Do not fight yourself.
A Course in Miracles

Spiritual path travelers have a big super ego. We have seen Jesus' resolve in dealing with his temptations and Buddha's wisdom and will-power to withstand his. Yet, Buddha spent many years experimenting with his psychological issues, while little is known about Jesus soul-searching process prior to his trip to the desert. When you see a lot of back and forth in your effort to cut out impurities stop and see whether there is anything you can do differently. I spent a lot of time with my compulsive habits cycling back and forth and beating myself up over them afterwards until I made it a conscious effort to experiment with them instead. You can study the change in your energy level, you can see how the environment reacts to you. Make an experiment out of your struggle and see that the Tao is always there for you. Only you can shut down your energy centers, the Tao will always have a welcoming hand stretched out to you no matter what you do. You will find your way to gain wholeness and on this day you will have exactly the same resolve and will-power as Jesus and Buddha had when say said good-by to their internal struggles. It must dawn on you that you are them, right?

Buddha allegedly once said: "The good things, do them - the bad ones, don't." In the end it will be as easy as that, but until you get to that stage, first find out why Mr. Hyde always pops out just when Dr. Jekyll declared that he will now be good for good. Run your dark experiments. What unresolved psychological issues have you still safely stored away? Let the Tao teach you what aspects of your personality you haven't acknowledged yet. Shadow work is a process. Do not be afraid to look into the dark corners of your being. Your hard work and your boldness to confront your dark self will pay off. Wholeness and holiness are waiting for you.

You must choose between total freedom and total bondage, for there is no alternative but these.
A Course in Miracles

I found the answer to all my struggles in this sentence. If you read books on compulsive behaviors and addictions and you will without fail hear about the "trance state". A little external trigger and you experience how your mind is shutting down on you. You can experience this for yourself so clearly. The alcoholic standing in front of the liquor cabinet on a day when his wife is on a business trip while he had a hard day at work may still have a choice. Once the wine bottle is open he no longer does. Once the trance has settled in you will only wake up when the broken China is on the floor.

It is fascinating to watch how all compulsive habits are an escape from freedom. You can also study how the impact of giving in to temptations yet again will linger with you for many days. The day after giving in to the temptation will look different to you than the day before. Afterwards you will have to exert lots of energy to pull yourself out of the hole again. Experiment with your habits with the 21 day rule. Declare yourself mentally insane for 21 days after you have given in to temptation and use your will-power to stay away from your compulsive behavior over this time period. They say that it takes that long for our subconscious system to over-ride a new program. Experience how you are literally a different person with each passing day. If you want to run your dark experiment again after having made it through this ordeal, go right ahead. I promise you will get tired of these iterations sooner rather than later.

An escape from freedom is an absolute no-no to every spiritual traveler. The whole aim of our journey is the opposite, a path towards freedom of choice in everything we do. I have found that it is quite refreshing to experience the "trance state" associated with a compulsive behavior at least once. Afterwards you will do whatever is in your power to liberate yourself from it. When it comes to spirituality, whenever there is a will, there is a way.

When it comes to addictions and compulsive behaviors, the "ordinary folks" want to have their old life back. They want to function normally the way they did before, free of these attacks of compulsion whether they be sex, gambling, substance abuse, alcoholism, shopping, depending on others, working, or whatever else people can get addicted to. The Tao traveler is in a very different position. Once your spiritual path starts in earnest you will never get your old life back. Instead, you will be going through a divine synchronization and refinement process until all that is left is a sparkling diamond.

Delay will hurt you now more than before, only because you realize it is delay, and that escape from pain is really possible.
A Course in Miracles

Addictions show you in the extreme that there is no alternative. There is either a journey into the darkness or into the light and nothing in-between. The "ordinary folks" might be able to coexist in different states of consciousness for decades, for the Tao traveler it is an either or. In fact, the Tao travelers will learn to be in each aspect of their lives, family, hobby, work and spiritual, to be always the same person. And in every aspect they are headed into the light. You know what you have to do in order to cut the pain out of your system. Just cut out each and every impurity, one by one.

Be never fearful of temptation, but see it as another chance to choose again.
A Course in Miracles

There is no need to be afraid of temptations. They will lead you home. Take a step to the right and learn, take a step to the left and gain wholeness. You cannot make a mistake. You will soon learn that you are on a spiral that experiences smaller and smaller oscillations with every step that you take. In the limit there is only peace, joy, love and power.

In this world you can become a spotless mirror in which the Holiness of your Creator shines forth from you to all around you.
A Course in Miracles

Every impurity will be washed away. That is the way of the Tao. Wholeness means holiness, but the way towards getting there may not be waiting for divine inspiration. The difference between spirituality and religion is one of time. You will converge with the holy notions our religions hold and you will get there by holding on to life, not faith. The way towards holiness may well be by exploring your dark side until you have managed to incorporate it into your spiritual being.

When you are weary, remember you have hurt yourself.
A Course in Miracles

Pain can be a great teacher, as can exuberance. The spiral will converge to a single point full of peace, joy, love and power. Let the years be judge whether you are converging with Heaven on earth. Look out to the Tao - She will teach you everything that you need to learn on your journey home.

Nothing real can be threatened,
nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the Peace of God.
A Course in Miracles

There is nothing to regret and nothing to fear. Just finish your journey today and enjoy God's peace. She is waiting for you.

Blinded by the Light

I was chatting with my neighbor on a bright day when I suddenly noticed how she had a hard time seeing me with all that sun light in my back. My neighbor is tiny in comparison, so I took one step towards her and managed that way to cover the sun with my body. It really must have seemed to her that I am a creature of the light. The irony is that she always completely dressed in black and only drives black luxury vehicles. In contrast, our house is white and over the garage there is a massive sun woven into the wood. The contrast between us couldn't be any starker.

I had to smile when I became aware of the sun theme that day because at work I face exactly the same situation. My office faces south, so in the afternoon the light is streaming into the glass building with an amazing intensity. Not that my colleagues would notice because everyone else has their blinds rolled down whereas I keep mine open. The downside is that visitors who come for a visit in the afternoon are literally blinded by the light until I either roll down the blinds or cover the light with my body by walking up to them. My commute is also devoted to the sun theme. I live to the west of the city Boston, so in the morning I drive into the rising sun while in the evening I drive into the setting sun.

Yes, I am a creature of the light, a light worker, but please don't equate that with good versus evil. At work I have noticed that I am very much part of a "good cop, bad cop" arrangement. Yes, I am the good cop, but tough choices unfortunately have to occur no matter what. This is part of life, so if you are not willing to take them, someone else will have to do it. Lord Krishna showed Arjun the way to enlightenment on the battlefield in the Bhagavad Gita. I now have understood that I have to step up to the plate and swing the sword on occasions myself. That is part of our spiritual evolution as you will probably find out for yourself as well. Along the Tao there is no good and evil, everything just kind of makes sense. Unfortunately, sometimes tears are buried in the laughter.

Yes, I am literally a light worker. This is apparently the part of the movie set that I have signed up for. Whenever I receive sad news, have to make tough choices or have to deliver difficult messages, it either rains in Boston or it is foggy. Rain and clouds are my personal symbol of darkness. It doesn't have to be that way. Believe it or not, but I have actually met my spiritual counter-part who sits on the opposite side of the globe and as it turns out, she is energized by the opposite weather patterns. My soul sister receives the strongest energy connections when it rains or pours. This all makes perfect sense. All colors of the rainbow are God and it is the interaction of sun and rain that creates this magnificent spectacle.

On Spiritual Purity

When Sri Ramakrishna, the 19th century sage of Dakshineswar, India said that he couldn't associate with money his disciple Vivekananda wanted to test him so he hid a coin under his mattress. Next day Sri Ramakrishna reported that he couldn't sleep at all that night.

Along the Tao you will have to drop some of your habits. You might no longer be able to work in the profession you did before. You may change your eating or drinking habits. Your sexual practices might change or you might drop sex altogether. The thing though is, experience for yourself what this change is about. Just see for yourself what happens when you practice what you have been doing before and how you feel when you drop that activity for good. You can run experiments just like Vivekananda did. However, also remember that we need you to show your true colors. Only because some guru is a vegetarian and lives like a monk doesn't mean you have to. Explore and express yourself. You don't need to worry, the Tao will communicate clearly to you what works and what doesn't.

I have a very simple rule of thumb. I do whatever feels right to express my love. I have become vegetarian because I care for animals. I drink alcohol when I have the chance to toast with my friends. I also haven't found that sex interferes with my spiritual path as long as it is an expression of love. I work in the financial industry which is, many would argue, obsessed with money. It doesn't touch me though as I am focussing my attention on the interactions with my friends at work. This is the path the Tao has chosen for me. I am here to help my friends and will do that happily until I get the signal to move on to my next career, that of a spiritual coach. The Blue Lord was teaching Arjun the path toward enlightenment on the battlefield in the Bhagavad Gita. Define your own path towards purity but remember your starting point in this journey. You have to share your gifts with humanity in your special way. You will see that the Tao encourages you to express your idiosyncratic being. Be creative, be bold and be flexible to change course when the next cue shows up.

Selfless Action

Deluded by identification with the ego,
a person thinks "I am the doer".

Performing all actions for my sake,
completely absorbed in the Self,
and without expectations, fight!
But stay free from the fever of the ego.
Lord Krishna, Bhagavad Gita

I was sitting today in our investment meeting next to an analyst who had exactly the opposite view of mine. "That's odd", I thought. "Most of the times when this happens I sit on the symbolic other side of the room." Then another investor spoke, who happened to sit on the other side, but he portrayed the investment case that I am currently embracing. I did what I always do in those situations, I reminded myself of the initials of the two colleagues and concluded that they both have powerful spiritual names (that is,  the ones that I assigned to them based on their initials.) I also consider them both my friends. My conclusion was that I am in exactly the same situation as Arjun was when he had to fight his friends and relatives in the Bhagavad Gita. You do what you have to do, you take sides based on what the Tao tells you to, but victory or loss, alliance or conflict, you are not really emotionally involved with any of the outcomes. It is a nice feeling to have; you feel incredibly free.

Spiritual Being

Lord Krishna was on the battle field with Arjun who had to fight for his kingdom against his own friends and family and broke down under the weight of this bloody assignment. As he asked Lord Krishna for advice he discovered not only his True Self, but also   witnessed how Lord Krishna keeps the entire universe spinning with His Devine Presence. On the battle field, Lord Krishna was a charioteer, a 'lowly' position in the army hierarchy at that time. In the same vein, wherever you perceive power these days, take a good look around, chances are there is someone special in the near neighborhood whose very presence keeps the whole place going.

I wonder if the spiritual contribution of us path travelers is simply 'being', that is, simply being around and contributing good vibrations to our environment. You can study your energy vibrations over time just by seeing how the environment responds to you. You learn over the years when you are 'on' and when you happen to undermine your own energy flow. Over and over again you can see which activities pull you down and your surroundings with it. You have signed up for a tough act to follow my friend, because you need to be 'on' all the time. Only then are all the wheels spinning around you just as should be. But then, being a spiritual path traveler does come with a few metaphysical perks attached and then there is that infinite peace that  flows through you, this knowledge that whatever hits you, you have the license to cope with the situation at hand. So while there is responsibility that comes with the 'job' of a spiritual path traveler, I would sign up for this gig any time; hope you do as well!

It's the end of the world as we know it

Lord Krishna's exchange with Arjun is nothing but the encounter of the ego with our soul. Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita " Whenever societies crumble, whenever evil dominates, I will be born again". Yes, that's our nature, collectively and individually, when ever we hit rock-bottom and the ego has no choice but to stare in the abyss, something devine becomes visible.

We are all one, but maya wrapped in time pretends otherwise. I was executed spiritually and professionally 10 years ago at a time when some others near to me soared. Actually, let me restate, I executed myself, I have no one but myself to blame for this period. But it is a faint memory now, and as I  see some of these friends struggling, some even struggling to stay physically alive, and I have the desire to tell them from my own experience "don't worry, in a few years everything will look so much better.

We are all one. The demise of some generates the energy for others to take off. I work in the financial industry which faces a lot of destruction right now. Main street has been suffering for many years already and all these folks can probably say right now "what took you so long to figure out that we are all in this mess together?" Yet, some spiritual path travelers probably feel energized because as Lord Krishna proclaimed, with every demise we are setting the stage for a rebirth of spirituality.

You may know the song 'It is the end of the world as we know it', I have heard it often on the radio recently. You probably also know how it concludes: 'and I feel fine'. We have a job to finish. According to my astrological sources, things should again get better for the world in the second half of 2012, so until then intensify your efforts and create a new beginning for yourself and others. When so many people suffer at the same time, something good has to come out of it.

Never Repress Your Desires

You see your attractive neighbor and know how much sexual desire you have, but you decide not to do anything about it since both of you are married and you respect this holy institution.

This might be the right choice, it might not be. Only you know what is right for you and you have to make decisions like these every day. By making them and by experiencing how your world reacts you fine-tune yourself along your spiritual path. If you try to repress your desires by saying "I must not look at my attractive neighbor" or "I only must have holy thoughts", your repressed desires will come back in one form or another to haunt you.

The Gita describes God as the absence of desires: once you stand still, without any desire to move, you will see Me. But I fear the Gita has been written for God-like humans. Arjun looks like a little child next to Lord Krishna with his whining questions and endless repetition of concerns. What you probably don't know about him is that he happens to be the 'best of the best' of us. He once was in a shooting competition with India's best archers and he won with a perfect track record. When his teacher asked him to share his secret he said "When I aim for the bird on the tree, I aim directly for the eye and I do not shoot before I have perfectly zoomed into my target."

Do not beat yourself up over who you think you are right now. You may have to question some of your desires just because they may be distorted outlets of different urges, but once you have disentangled them, go after your desires with laser-loke focus. With every desire you have there is a perfect opportunity to express yourself beautifully today without being in conflict with who you really are. Desires do burn off as you get what you aspire. 'Been there, done that' happens to be a holy mantra in my opinion.

Professional Success and Spirituality

Nice guys finish last! Does this expression resonate with you? Can spiritual path travelers have a successful career? I had this discussion with my wife the other day and told her that for me Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan cannot be it since all of them revealed personality traits that I would consider unacceptable. "Well", she said, "you have given the answer right there, as you would never be willing to make the choices they have made. Yet others consider their choices as perfectly acceptable and certainly desirable".

Spiritual path travelers can be professionally successful and certainly are. It is just that the journey they take often happens to be off the beaten path. Spiritual path travelers come in a jeep I guess. Probably most of us are artist and teachers, but there will be breakthroughs in many other professions as well. I happen to work in the financial industry and am pretty sure that you can be an enlightened investor.

There is one misconception with the 'nice guys finish last' phrase however. Being on a spiritual path doesn't mean you cannot or should not act tough professionally. Of course we are and aspire to be gentle with everyone, but sometimes colleagues, friends or relatives come to us with a big sign around their neck (invisible to them) that says 'brother, please teach me a lesson'. That's the spiritual evolution the Christians still have to learn, but the concept was already taught many thousand years ago in India when Lord Krishna told Arjun on the battlefield that it was his destiny to execute his relatives and friends "Yield not to unmanliness", He said, "you have a job to do!"

Actually, I haven't had a tough personal decision to make in my career, so apparently I have chosen a peaceful professional path for myself. But CEOs of companies, politicians and so many other managers do not have this luxury. But they can be spiritual travelers nevertheless. As Lao Tse observed as well many thousand years ago in China, there is always a Tao, a middle path, that works for everybody. All one has to do is to selflessly open one's eyes and look for it.

May your spiritual path be blessed and may you finish first as it happens to be your birthright!

Aspire, Manifest, Reflect and Renounce

We are eating from the Tree of Knowledge again. We were little children when we took our first bite many thousand years ago and were afraid of the responsibility to choose between good and evil. In the meantime we have grown up and the next step in our evolution is to move beyond good and evil. Express yourself and play your part in the divine play.

There is a tao of life that shines before you. Right or wrong very much depends on your personal path. As Lord Krishna told Arjun that it was his duty to kill people he cared for in the battlefield, who knows what is in store for you - only you can be the judge. The brother you may meet today may have a sign around his neck -  of course invisible to himself - "brother, please teach me a precious lesson".

The question of course is how to separate the egotistic I demands from the longings of your soul. That's what Jnana Yoga is all about, i.e. the path of wisdom. No authority, no guru or holy book can help you with these decisions. You only have your intuition, and the little signs life throws at you. Aspire to realize your dreams, manifest them as best as you can, but be prepared to drop them if life tells you to. Aspire, manifest, reflect and renounce - that's what Jnana Yoga is all about. Yes this, but not that!

Eckhart Tolle writes that women are ahead of men on the spiritual journey. This resonated with me. Women are more closely connected with their hearts and "feel" themselves from decision to decision. For somebody like me who has a stronger intellectual connection, all I can do is to look out for the signs that life has to offer as I make my choices. No matter what you do, there is always a quite voice in the background that begs to be heard.

Take the fairy tale of the fisher and his wife as an example. The fisher finds a golden fish one day and declines his offer for a boon as he feels he already has everything his heart desires. His wife thought differently  and makes the fisher go back and ask the fish first for a bigger house, then a castle, a kingdom and eventually to become God. One wish after the other gets fulfilled, but progressively the sea gets darker, the weather worse and the fisher has to wait longer and longer before the golden fish shows up. Eventually, when the wife wants to become God, the golden fish tells the fisher that his wife has lost everything and is back in their old filthy shack.

So what exactly is the moral of the story? It is not that we shouldn't aspire to express ourselves. It is knowing what desires to manifest and what desires to renounce. The fisher's wife could never see the signs of discouragement to go further as her submissive husband was unable to communicate them to her. I don't know what her dharma (destiny) was, but she certainly aimed for stars that were out of her reach. Know your dharma and  fulfill it and you don't have to worry about good and evil any longer.