When Strive is the Problem

The 

FORCE
is with us

regardless
of our
direction.

(davidWELLENS, Direction, Spiritual Networks)

The ego is a psychological force that drives us places. Sometimes all the striving is a perfect opportunity to express ourselves creatively, and sometimes we are simply running away from our SELF, and that hurts! The trick of our spiritual journey is to recognize in which direction to head. Backwards, forwards, or just resting where we are. There is always a perfect response to life's demands that is associated with peace. Don't worry though, just as davidWELLENS reminds us, the FORCE is always with us, so even if we miss a few steps along the WAY, we always will be pointed in the right direction. 

I had this insight when I read "Romancing the Shadow" by Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf, as they described the case of a "successful" woman who sometimes in her forties woke up to the fact that all her life she had made her powerful - and sometimes overpowering - father as her role model, while sidelining her more artistically inclined and depressed mother, who crumbled under that masculine power. Needless to say, she did well professionally, but sometime along her journey she realized that she would never have children on her own and that made her quite upset. She had to teach herself to embrace her femininity, and managed to make friends with her mother late in life.

The girl who grew into a professionally successful woman followed all her life a path that she figured was her, only to find that she ran away from her SELF. She wanted to get places, and as she reached them she discovered that her heart was empty. Despite her best intentions, she ran away from her SELF by striving. Maybe some of us spiritual travelers fall into the same trap. We are running after the ideal of enlightenment. We want to be "there", not "here". Our society has primed us that way. If you want something, go and get it is our mantra.

There are times to strive, and there are times to let it be. You have to satisfy self, soul and SELF all at the same time. Go inside and listen to the quiet VOICE and ask for directions. Observe the signals that you are receiving from your environment. Once you know in which direction to go, peace is with you every step of the WAY. 

Hanging Out with the Unknown

We have the tendency to find a solution as fast as possible whenever we come across a difficult situation. It literally hurts us not to know what lies ahead so we press to find a solution as quickly as possible; yet, experience tells us that certain problems need stewing over, hard as it is. Same with taking medication when we fall sick. Being slow, aching and being vulnerable is unacceptable so we demand the magic pill that restores our health immediately.  Seldom are we are willing to face this pain, find the root cause, and take necessary action to fix the underlying issues.

We have the restlessness and impatience when we face some unfamiliar or challenging issues. Too often do we just want to grab the first solution at hand and try to put the issues to rest. Observe how you feel when you take this approach. Do you really feel peaceful or do you perhaps still struggle even after you have made your choice?

When we face an unfamiliar situation or confront a difficult issue, we have to allow ourselves to be there with the insecurity and the unknown. We have to give ourselves time to digest the issues and let the answer arise in us.  It takes courage to face the unknown and be friend with Her.  When we take a fast solution we certainly can be in conflict with the present moment.  

A spiritual path is an encounter with the unknown. We mostly feel at peace but we do not know which step will be next. We may feel panic in the beginning but can get used to the creative power of the unknown pretty soon and fall in love with Her. But not every phase is rosy; there are also stretches when lingering tensions and conflicts come to the surface. It would be tempting to do what we used to, go for a drink, go shopping, have steamy sex, watch a movie or drown in work. But no, for the first time ever, we just accept the darkness. We take it in and just be with the fear, with the greed, with the restlessness. We don't take drugs, we don't run, we just hang out with the scary unknown and then magic happens. The conflict dissolves.

The secret of spirituality is always the same. No matter whether you have to make important decisions, face conflicts of the past or face your daily life. Center yourself, stay in the unknown, and suddenly, a way is shown to you. You know exactly what to do.  The words and answers are given to you, all you have to do is to show up and face whatever it is that comes your way.  You know it is the Way. The Tao is walking with you wherever you turn. Hang out with what is and joy, love, creativity and peace will be with you. Holding Her hand you meditate every step of the Way. Enjoy!

By Christian and Su Zhen 

Never Forget Your Self

Sometimes we lose our balance in life a little. We don’t sleep well, feel stressed and cannot stay cool and kind like we normally do. We are tired and get cranky easily.  Whenever we experience these irritations it is as if life sends us little wake-up calls that we are off-track. Take a look around, it is easy to discover how you have been carried away by these little annoyances and have effectively lost your center.  You gave all these trivial things first priority and forgot to be your Self. You identified with these trivial things and let them take over your life and consume your energy.

Make it a habit to center yourself as the first activity of day.  You can then experience how everything falls into place effortlessly.  These centering activities provide all the energy you need; they put you in touch with your Self and infuse you with the energies of peace, joy, and love. When you connect with your Core, wisdom will always be at your disposal. You automatically cut out all distracting and wasteful activities and save enormous energy and time in the process. So, If you are still carried away by life on occasions, make it an effort to center your being again and peace will be again with you.

Don’t stop these life-nourishing activities when things get hectic. This is exactly the time when you need it the most. Let the energy of the Source penetrates every cell of your being. The Buddhist have a saying, "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you are too busy, then you should sit for an hour! Let the flowers of peace, love, and joy bloom every day; let the beauty of life radiates from you. You are peace, love, joy and beauty wherever you are and in every situation.

By Christian and Su Zhen

Working with the Tao

 A Tao traveler learns how to work with the Tao and let things happen. She learns to center herself, observes and takes action as the situation requires. She trusts and works with the flow.

Before we walked the Tao, we worked hard but we didn't trust. We worked hard but we were anxious at the same time. We thought we were on our own. And indeed, when you don't connect with the Way, you often are on your own.

A Tao traveler works with the Tao and sees in amazement how the Tao moves things around. Occurrences that others would classify as interferences, the Tao traveler recognizes as a new branch in the road that invites you to change course. The Way will guide us along but all this can only unfold when we have trust and when we are patient.

When you feel like you come across difficulties, you somehow feel like an ant pushing a big cart. Stop everything at that moment and reconnect with your center - you are not in tune with the Tao at this moment. Actually, realizing the fact that you are not in tune in fact reconnects you with the Way. So when you observe that you are anxious, just let it be and keep observing. As you observe and wait, slowly, you can feel things settle down by themselves. Suddenly, you join the flow of the Tao again.

As you keep observing, you experience peace, joy and silence. Suddenly, an insight arises in you and you know exactly what action to take and what word to say. All this happens effortlessly with your awareness on high alert.

The Tao is watching over us with a pair of eternal eyes. And at this blessed moment, you and  the Tao are one. You experience this timeless observation with your own internal eyes; you watch all the unfolding events like an an outsider. Suddenly you know the secret of working with the Tao: just let it happen. When you join the flow of the Tao, your ego’s agenda is washed away. You stop interfering with the Way and suddenly theTao’s plan unfolds in front of you. You experience the Tao’s force, Her timelessness and you can taste Her sweetness.

Trust, let go of your agenda and work with the Way. You know things are going to happen just the way they are supposed to. Step back and let Her rush to the fore. Lovingly, peacefully and slowly, the Tao’s magic unfolds in front of you and through you.

By Christian and Su Zhen

Only the Inadequate is Productive

See the stone set in your eyes,
see the thorn twist in your side,
I'll wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate,
on a bed of nails she makes me wait.
And I wait without you.

Through the storm, we reach the shore.
You gave it all but I want more
and I'm waiting for you.
With or without you,
with or without you,
I can't live with or without you.
(U2, With or Without You)

In the spiritual community we often have the ideal of love, peace and happiness, yet if we are willing to look beneath the hood, we perceive struggle as well. Discussing these struggles is complicated and sometimes counterproductive given that we all come from a different vantage point. Yet, while our struggles are idiosyncratic, there is an overriding theme that we all should be aware of: the pressure within often kick-starts the search for the complete, the perfect, the infinite. And for that we should be grateful for.

The German poet Goethe once said, "Only the inadequate is productive." Why do we talk and write so much in the spiritual community? Because we want this tension and conflict inside to be over with and we channel that conflicted energy into our search for God. We are literally on a healing mission. And if we truly understand where we coming from we have in fact a perfect opportunity of letting go today. We live in the best of all worlds. Our struggles are in fact perfect imperfections that catapult us on our journey Home. Our creative outlet is our mission; our struggle is the energy source for creation and the ability to let go.

When I looked for the U2 song that expresses that inner struggle quite well - "With or a Without You" - I came across The Joshua Tree Tour in 1987 in which Bono ended the song after a beautiful guitar solo with "Yeah, we'll shine like stars in the summer night. We'll shine like stars in the winter light; one heart, one hope, one love, with or without you." Well, that's it. Shine like a star! Reflect and magnify that tremendous energy that slumbers inside you. Honor your starting point,find your creative outlet and share your light with others. When the light is shining, the conflict is gone and peace, love and happiness are with you.

The Art of Coming Home

Jesus was fasting for 40 days in the desert. The devil appeared and asked him to turn stones into bread, but Jesus said, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." The devil then tempted him to change the power of gravity and lastly, to take over the world. In all cases Jesus declined and the devil was gone forever.
(New Testament)

If you run after possessions you run away from your True Self. Yet, if you don't allow yourself any luxuries, you may repress your intrinsic desires instead. And if you constantly run after sex you probably try to drown out the restlessness and emptiness inside; yet, by becoming a nun in the name of spirituality you may in fact be just be too afraid to face the lust that slumbers inside. The same with power. If you crave it you probably don't recognize the power that you already possess. Yet if you keep on turning the other cheek, as Jesus once demanded, you may in fact be afraid of the Clint Eastwood inside who wants to be expressed.

So where does that leave us? What are we to do if we are spiritual travelers? What is the True Self and what are nothing but repressed desires? There is in fact an easy reality check to know what is truly going on. As long as you perceive drive, greed, lust, avarice, anger, you have to deal with it. If you think you can just pray and meditate it away, you may be fooling yourself. Look for the authentic needs you can express with spiritually kosher means: a promotion at work that expresses your talents, a soul-partner who fulfills you sexually or perhaps even an open relationship. And what exactly prevents you from getting the house, vacation and hobbies of your dreams? This is your spiritual path; you find out what is kosher for you and what is not not. When you are where you want to be, peace will be with you; but until then, let life lead you to the expression of your True Self.

While peace and love is the ultimate measure of success, studying the demon who pops out every other full moon is the other. Why do we have anger fits on occasion? Why do we you experience emptiness and restlessness, and why do we at times do the opposite of what all the spiritual literature tells us to? Find the slumbering conflict inside that still hasn't entirely come to the surface. What authentic desire might we still not have granted ourselves? Instead of beating us up over it, we can very much try to understand what the demon wants.

The Art of Coming Home is the observation that there is a red thread right in front of us that helps us with our mission. Walking the Tao doesn't take the pain away that everyone else experiences. We have to adjust along the Way and change can be hard at times. We have to be entrepreneurial even though we may be averse to taking risks, and we certainly have to face all our fears. And sometimes we have to say no to what is meaningful to us. So while the pain is there, the rewards are bountiful. As we travel the Way, we feel how the pounds are dropping. We experience how our posture straitens and we realize how we become ever more light-hearted. Excess baggage that we have carried around for years is falling by the wayside. We travel light along the Tao and every step of the Way fulfills our authentic needs.

I started this note with Jesus' three temptations. All his temptations were about power. As we all know, Jesus ended up doing the opposite. He said no to the ego wherever he went and created a spiritual spark in half of humanity. That was his way of resolving his power struggle. What is yours? I am not saying that you have to become another Jesus - we already had one. Just become the whole, empowered and loving person that you are born to be in whatever niche that might be. Say no to your ego on some occasions, express your desires in others; try to understand what your demon wants from you. All of this is easy to accomplish, just dance with life. Peace and love may not always be with you, but ever more often as you walk the Way. Holding onto Her hand is a blissful journey indeed!

Peace

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
(A Course in Miracles)

The other day I asked in the Spiritual Networks community the question whether there is a dark force at work that wants to keep us from God, or whether our perceived God-separation is just based on our own illusions. The majority of the spiritual travelers thought that there was a dark force at play, but the thoughtful commentary made me realize that the answer to this question doesn't really matter that much.

You probably remember Jesus's story of how he resisted three temptations in the desert. He experienced a dark force and just ignored it. Buddha experienced the battle between good and evil as well and just kept meditating until the theater dissolved into nothingness. The philosophy of the Tao traveler is to interact with life. Our premise is that peace and love is always ours to choose no matter what. We don't engage in the battle of good and evil either.

Whether the ego is deliberately leading us astray or not, each time when we feel separated from God, a battle between "good" and "bad" will be brewing; whenever we perceive that we are "here", but want to be "there", a voice will pop up reminding us that we are fooling ourselves. Say, we discover that we are greedy, competitive or horny, but look for God's peace and love instead. The moment you feel disconnected from the Way, a dialogue will be raging inside.

Just step out of it! You can can avoid the yin and yang of spirituality every step of the Way. If greedy thoughts pop up, let's ask whether there are some authentic desires that we don't grant ourselves. If they are, work on those instead. When competition enters our mind, let's contemplate the cooperative solution. And if lust overcomes us, we can always ask whether love is nearby. Step out of the battle between good and evil. Peace is always yours to choose; that's the promise of your Creator.

Energy and the Tao (Revised)

Empty your mind of all thoughts.
Let your heart be at peace.
Watch the turmoil of beings,
but contemplate their return.
Each separate being in the universe
returns to the common Source.
Returning to the Source is serenity.
(Tao Te Ching)

Our spiritual community loves reflecting on the Self, the ancient voice that is in constant God connection. Everyone in one way or another has experienced this connection, has received a glimpse of what life could be if only we could have constant access to God. So we keep on reflecting on this divine state and we think about the ego, the "I", or our desires which often seems to stand in the way of experiencing Heaven on earth. So in essence we are thinking about ways how we could overcome our ego. The problem with that approach is that the ego is us, so if we think about the ego, everything becomes a little circular.

Thinking about our ego is perhaps not so helpful, yet being aware of the voice in our head is. In the same way, we can reflect on the "mood" that we are in; we may be indirectly able to perceive the hormones that are flushing through our system; we can perceive our breathing, and so much more. To find a name for all this, we can experience our energy state; we can observe it and react to it very much like the voice in our head. When we discuss spiritual themes we experience different energy than when we work. When we play with our children we have a different energy than when we go on nature walks.

The Tao traveler would tell you that everything is energy, everything that goes on within you just as much as everything that happens outside of you. We claim that if only we could be aware of our different energy states, we would be in tune with the Tao already. We have learned the hard way that it is good for us to stay away from dark energies; colleagues who love to gossip, greed, alcohol, violence, porn or stress. We have learned the hard way that we need meditation, yoga, nature walks, a meaningful work or a creative outlet; we need friends, a soul mate, family, exercise, a spiritual community or simply from time to time a vacation. All the activities and connections breathe new life into us. Naturally, we want exposure to good energies all the times.

All these positive energy sources are indirect ways of keeping our spiritual balance amidst a stressful life. Yet, how much nicer would it be if we could connect with divine energy all the time. It turns out, simple awareness gets you to that state. Your power of observation has that magical ability to stay connected to the Tao, and in effect, making you a master of your life. You are no longer just swayed by emotions or acting unconsciously like a slave. Being aware of energy - be it positive or negative from your perspective - allows you cooperate with life all the time.

As a spiritual path traveler you can learn to be in tune with your energies. You can feel how your impatience is rising, you can feel that you are speaking too fast when you express yourself. You always have the Tao to lean onto, the signs and symbols that you perceive as a constant feedback mechanism. When you lose your connection to spiritual energy, your soul siblings are happy to tell you when you need to slow down, or will at times encourage you to speed up a little.

You may take a colleague to a golf game and just as you are complaining about some internal company politics you observe how the bag of your golf partner keeps slamming into the back-door of your car; but as change the conversation to a more uplifting subject, you suddenly observe that - miraculously - the car ride has become so much smoother. And as you finally pull into the parking lot while you discuss how much you enjoy working with a new colleague, you observe that the time has just moved to 12:34; a feat that is totally lost on your colleague.

Along the Tao you cannot really make a mistake. Sure, we are as driven by our desires - the ego - just as the fellow next door, but by engaging with the Tao's energies we manage to stay in the holy Now sometimes despite our desires, but mostly because of them. Rain or shine, serenity, love and peace is always near-by ready to catch up with you.

By Christian and Su Zhen

Losing Sight of the Way

Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.
(Queen Victoria)

We all tend to be thankful to God when the going is easy, but how about when things seem to be out of control? We suddenly feel lonely and scared when things are not going our way. So has God forgotten all about us?

To the contrary, it is us shutting down on the Way and falling back on our old nasty habits of fearing for our status, our health, our sanity, the loyality of our friends, and what have you. We literally get carried away by the fearful events when all that is really needed is the faith that the upcoming change or the problem at hand will help us in accomplishing our life's mission even better than before. Instead of setting our sails to the changed wind direction we are steering back and forth without getting anywhere. We zoom into the problem instead of the solution and consequently feel bitter, afraid and resentful.

When you are lost and confused, and when you lose faith in a divine order of things you end up hurting yourself and others in the process.  It is like the harder you try to solve the problem at hand, the harder the problem gets. So when the going gets tough and when you feel impatience, anxiety and anger rising in you, drop everything and reconnect with the Way instead. It is not hard to do. You will be surprised about that incredible peace that penetrates instantaneously when you take a step back and connect with the Way. No matter what, the Tao never stops extending a guiding hand; it was you instead who temporarily let go of Her.

Please test our theory next time when you feel anxiety, impatience or anger rising in you. If you can connect with the Way even in these situations you will be all set for life. Fact of the matter is that the kingdom of God never leaves you - the kingdom of God is within you and is always at your disposal.

By Christian and Su Zhen

The Secret of Highly Effective People

Steven Covey mentioned in his book,“7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that we should prioritize different daily activities. In particular he recommends that we nurture the activities that may not seem very urgent, and that may on the first glance not even seem that useful, yet that are still very important to us in our daily life. For me that would be my daily attempt to connect with my Self with the help of meditation and creative writing. It activities like these that give our lives purpose. While others may need their coffee in the morning, I need to have access to these creative outlets to be truly effective in the day.

On a very busy day I do the opposite of what many others may do; instead of rushing into the tasks at hand, I take my time to meditate to put myself in the right frame of mind. Meditation helps me to anchor myself in the now and gives me the energy to deal with everything that comes my way. When Christian feels pressures at  work to do something in a hurry, the first thing he does is to slow himself down. Amazingly, the pace of the world adjusts to our inner frame of mind.

Christian always always reverts back to  Psalm 23 which describes the state of the holy now. What is the ongoing communication of the Tao for him is meditation and creative writing for me. Either method boils down to the same thing, there is an ongoing connection with the Self - a feeling of purpose and divine connectedness that we can always tap into. With this trust, confidence, and centeredness, what initially seems like a scary storm disintegrates into a harmless wind. Better than that, we can have the wind in our back and sail with it.   Read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" and discover how some remarkable people like him could even use the impact of a tornado - his horrendous Holocaust experience - and transform this energy into a life-long quest for teaching and healing. Victor Frankl shared his secret with us, find meaning in what you do and run with it.

Why do meditation and writing have such calming impact on me? It is the presence of the Self that I can feel at that moment. Everyone has access to this secret, you just have to find your idiosyncratic way of connecting with this Force. Some find the Self in external happenings like Christian's discovery of the Tao, while others like me are able to connect with an inner guide instead. Whatever your spiritual journey may be, please find this daily fountain of energy and wisdom. By being in touch with your Self you have access to eternal sunshine no matter what. Find this secret that other highly effective people have found before you and please share it with others.

By Su Zhen and Christian

On True Happiness

Clean up, clean up,
everybody, everywhere.
Clean up, clean up,
everybody do your share!
(Nursery Rhyme)

There is the belief in the spiritual community that we all have the right to live in peace, love and happiness, and sure enough, we have many of these moments. But there is also the realization that all the people who are struggling in our vicinity are very much part of us. Whatever struggle our soul sister is facing may just be the issue we are not quite facing ourself. Whatever our children go through may just be the homework we still have to do. Who knows which party caused the pain and who knows who exactly is helping whom in the recovery process. We are all in it together and we have to lift ourselves out of the hole we once dug.

Cleaning up can be a lot of fun. Standing by others and being part of their healing process brings happiness.The secret of the Tao is to be open to all experiences and accepting them whole-heartedly. Yesterday my six year-old son sat next to me and started reading what I had written up to this point. I figured that he would remember the nursery rhyme quite well, but that the section about the struggle of our friends would be over his head. Nevertheless, I asked him afterwards what title he would give this note and he responded "happiness". He is right. Happiness is the knowledge that you have a job you love, a mission that you live for; that you are surrounded by people you love, and knowing that everything that comes your way will make perfect sense to you one day. May peace, love and happiness accompany you no matter what!

Waiting for Love

Peace will gently extend from deep inside yourself and will embrace your environment as well.

The memory of God comes to the quiet mind.

There is no time, no place, no state where God is absent.
(A Course in Miracles)

When she was little, she was always waiting for the mail. What exactly she was waiting for, she didn't know, but she knew it was important though. Perhaps someone would send her an important letter, so she kept on waiting day in, day out. Yes, occasionally she did get a few letters, but her happiness didn't last long. Soon she would be checking the mailbox for new arrivals. Perhaps she was happiest when several boys were courting her. She got love letters almost every day. However, after she got married these letters disappeared.  Nonetheless, she was still checking the mailbox every day.

 As time went by, no one was sending letters anymore.  Instead, email got popular.  She checked her e-mail box several times a day to make sure she didn’t miss anything. But most of the time  she was disappointed. There was so much junk that was sent to her. She didn't realize it then, but she was almost acting like a beggar looking for food. Why did she  have that craving? What exactly was her anxiety about? Was was she looking for?

 When Facebook came into her life, the situation was getting even worse.  Every hour, she checked out her account especially after she had posted some updates on her page.  Anxiously, she was checking to see if anyone had responded to her posts.  She was so occupied by the social media that she even skipped meals without even realizing. Sometimes she lost her sleep over checking her pages. One day a  friend asked her, why are you acting so restlessly? This was a breakthrough of sorts for her. No one had ever described her as restless. She was always known for being quiet and peaceful. But yes, all the evidence was pointing in this direction. She was craving love and attention. When this insight came to her she felt peaceful for the first time in a long while. That night she slept like a baby.

Perhaps this theme will resonate with you, either because you are addicted to social media as well, or just by recognizing this restlessness in other areas of your life. We have the same craving for success, for knowledge, for being considered attractive, for food, for sex, and so much more. Nothing you can ever do or get will ever satisfy this craving. The woman in our example was always surrounded by love, the love of her parents, her friends, her husband, her children; but their attention and love was just not quite enough; there must be more to life, is there? Well yes, there is. The ego substitutes our birthright for our divine connection with the craving for external pleasures. Peace and love is always at our disposal, but we look in the wrong places. Quiet down, recognize the restlessness inside of you and discover that incredible peace and love as you open the treasure chest deep inside of you. May peace be with you!

By Christian and Su Zhen

The Spotless Mirror

In this world you can become a spotless mirror, in which the Holiness of your Creator shines from you to all around you.
(A Course in Miracle)

Does it really make sense to be mad at yourself? I know that it is possible but does it really make sense? After all, when you made the mistake you now regret you gave it all just as you are now giving it all. Nothing could have been done about it so why to be upset?

If you agree with me up to this point you have the priceless opportunity to let go of disappointments, regrets and anger all at once. It turns out that other people who upset you, mislead you and attack you are nothing but the mirror image of your own internal struggles. So if they just display your inner realities why on earth would you be upset or disappointed?

The world is a mirror image of your inner realities. This is not spiritual talk but a fact that you can find out for yourself when you study the environment you are in and yourself carefully. Whenever there is lack of peace on the outside, find the lack on the inside; remove it and all the problems will vanish momentarily.

You can't let go of the "I" but you can spot interferences along the Way. Remove those and become the spotless mirror that you are born to be. Peace, joy and love are yours always - share your treasure with the world.

Suffering

I pray that you never, never, never get over this sorrow, but through it, into the very heart of God.
(Forbes Robertson)

Whether you are a spiritual traveler or not, suffering is part of life. Perhaps we Tao travelers have an edge with many of the self-imposed ego struggles, the desire to get stuff, the hunger for the gold that glitters on the horizon and, no matter how hard we run, always will be. But then, when we learn that our friend has cancer we are as devastated as everyone else; perhaps even more. So while we may be able to help you with the ego stuff, we can't really help you with the other pain that life brings your way. Still, we want to remind you that this pain too  has a spiritual purpose, hard though as it might be to believe at first.

 If your ego wants stuff but somehow life seems to have a different plan, you may be able to overcome your struggle by realizing that your ego is on a trip of its own and will never make you happy. You feel a pain inside when you see someone who is better off than you: a bigger house, a stunning body, a life partner to die for, professional success, or the  Harvard education you aspire for your children. Even we spiritual folks might mind if someone else is "enlighted" while we are not, or write spiritual bestseller while nobody reads our stuff.  So the  pain of wanting may always be there but one day you may also realize that this cry for specialness will never lead to happiness. You see for yourself that those who supposedly have it all are also not happier than you, no matter how much they may pretend. Often you find that they are even unhappy despite supposedly having it all. With this realization also comes the recognition that you are always loved and taken care of. And this is when true happiness starts.

So far so good, but what about the other pain? You find one lump in some part of your body.  Before going to see a doctor and finding out what it is, your mind is already made up that it must mean the worst.  You can't sleep and eat well for days and you got grey hair independent of what the medical diagnosis might turn out to be. This is the kind of suffering which is created by the demands of your soul; this is your fate so to speak. It could be anything, like the death of someone who is near and dear to you, a devastating career set-back, or any disability in the family.  This kind of suffering looks like punishment at first sight but eventually you will recognize the silver lining on the horizon.  When you are able to face and deal with the shock, the strength in you is rising.

All these events have a special purpose for your soul development. As your tears  dry see how your Self is shining through. This world is fleeting and these painful events will remind you of this fact. See how the  love, wisdom, compassion and passion for the present moment grows in you as you graduate to the next spiritual level. When you study "wise" people you recognize that those are not the ones who are the most intelligent, or the ones who meditate the longest or read the most books. Wisdom comes from opening up to life no matter whether it is pleasurable or painful.Tragedies help you understand that Heaven on earth is right in front of you, here and now.

 So is there really suffering in your life?  What do you think?

By Christian and Su Zhen

The Bar Has Been Raised

You know what happens in a high-jump competition? Just when you pass the hurdle, it will be raised on you. Does your life feel like an endless high-jumping event? The work-requirements go up, the resources you have access to get fewer and fewer; new and younger colleagues are moving up the rank fast, and in all that you realize that your children and significant others need more of your time, care and attention.

This would be a good time to connect with a life-coach. Someone who reminds you of your bigger picture and helps you to redefine your priorities and objectives. A Tao master could help you as well. After all, our motto is that everything you require to be happy and successful is at your finger-tips. You are always safe and sound, and all these people who you think annoy and challenge you, are really here to help you.

Start with a life-coach first though. Create yourself a little breathing space to look for alternatives, a new way of looking at things. Your problem is that you are on auto-pilot running after things that your parents, your friends, the advertisers, and society at large tell you are important. You are running like everyone else after the stuff that glitters on the horizon and are trampling over the gems that are lying in front of you in the process. Sort out your priorities a little, become more confident and efficient at what you do and start getting in touch with your soul. Once you have completed the warm-up exercise you are ready for the a Tao. And this is when the true fun will start.

Why do you think the bar has been raised on you? You have put yourself into this position. Subconsciously you want to run against a wall to remind yourself that there must be another way out there. You want to remind yourself that you are like a donkey running after the carrot never to be reached. Today is a good day to stop; drop everything and remind yourself of your happier days. We are telling you that you can have it all. You can experience these feelings of joy, love and well-being any time, at home, at work, everywhere really. But first you have to stop and reposition yourself. The life-coach will get you the breathing room to get ready for our magnificent journey, a first step into freedom. For the homecoming-tour, the Tao will take your hand. And when She gets started you will be in for a breath-taking ride.

When Two Paths Become One

There are two ways of doing things, you can be in tune with the Tao and effectively become Her instrument, or you can run after your ego's agenda. When you are in accordance with the Way, everything becomes effortless and you actually recharge yourself with all these activities. When you run after the demands of the "I", you certainly can feel exhilarated and exuberant, but you will also feel restless and anxious. Fear and depression will be your companion when you do it your way, just as peace and love will be wherever She walks.

Fact of the matter is that we always experience both states and there is nothing we can do about it. The desires of the "I" have to be respected, just as Her handwriting is always on the wall no matter how egotistic we might get.  Even if we tried, we couldn't block Her out completely. So keep on doing what you are doing until you have reached the blessed "been there, done that" state. With the "I" deflating, the Tao will take over naturally.

What you can do though while you are at it, be aware of everything that is happening to you. Following the Tao requires an inner and outer awareness. When you are deeply connected with what is, a Guide will tell you what to do moment by moment. The ego's agenda is washed away by the magic in the air. You don’t have any plan, yet your actions will be as straight-forward and purposeful as if they had been planned decades ahead.

In the same way, you can be aware of how everything feels once you are under the ego's spell. You tend to rush from action to action to accomplish your mission. Constraints become nuisances, people who stand in your way become your foes, just as partners in mission become friends. Below the layer of hunger for what you are eying is always a lingering fear that you might not get it, or that it might be taken way from you. Even once you get what you want, the more things pile up, the more you want. Sadly, the restlessness inside never goes away, and once you think that you are over the hill, is replaced by a depression.

Please don't make the mistake that you want to follow the Tao and that you want to say no to the demands of the "I". This is a mistake that our spiritual community often makes. Do not "want" anything, just observe! To connect with the Tao, all you have to do is to see the magic in life that is always there. It is just that most people can't see the gold lying on the ground because they are too busy running after what glitters on the horizon. Do not negate any of your desires, but please take a step back and look for the red threat on the ground. Once you see the Way, faced by Her beauty, the demands of the "I" will naturally fade into nothingness.

 Don't worry, what seems like duality is really just one. When you run after the demands of the "I" you also follow Her path, yet, you know it not and the fruits along the way are sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter. But once She takes you by the hand your journey becomes a conscious one instead. Restlessness turns into peace, passion into serenity and fear of the unknown into certainty. Follow us along the Way -  what choice do you have anyway.

By Christian and Su Zhen

The Tao as a Stress Manager

Have you ever had the experience that you are very stressed, so you make a project out of finding relaxation only to realize that you are as stressed as before despite your best efforts? You put on the candles, listen to some chants, you meditate, but the thoughts keep on popping to the surface like water does in a pot that soon reaches boiling temperature.   Don't be upset if this happens to you. Even a goal as innocent and well-intended as relaxation is set up by the ego. Whatever the ego touches comes with stress and effort attached.

Maybe you can do this instead. Tune into your environment and get in touch with what is going on inside you and just become aware of what happens. With no intent to change anything, see how your environment and your mood changes with this new approach. For example, when you are stressed, see how people and situations show up in response. Some may give you an opportunity to step out of it, some may intensify your stress; in fact, often these situations give you an either or dependent on how you end up reacting.

Realize when you are angry how people present themselves, sometimes literally waving a red flag in front of the charged bull. In turn, they may  offer themselves as perfect doormats to walk if you are inexperienced enough to make this mistake. Notice how stress, anger or worries pop up to the surface, but see how the solution to the problem presents itself. In particular, see how the bubble immediately deflates when you become aware of the yin and yang of life. No yoga, no meditation or stress management class is required. Just be aware of how connected the "inside" is to the so-called external environment.

Accept every emotion as is. Your inner nature just reacts to the environment you are in just as the flow of life you experience responds to your inner pace. When you feel that something is off kilter, some stress, anger or some lingering worry, accept that stage. Life - everything and everyone the Tao sends your way -  is a perfect stress manager. Observe and accept everything and don't give any more power to the emotions and thoughts that bubble to the surface. You can dance  to the tune of the Tao just as you would do meditation. The stimuli come, they reach you, but you decide to engage with some and let the others just fade into nothingness.

As you tune into the Tao, you naturally drop your personal agenda. Let the Tao lead you out of the stressful situation back to the peace of mind that is always yours to reach for.In fact, the Tao is doing the job for you if only you let Her. Peace and silence is always at your disposal no matter where you are. It takes some practice to become a Tao master but keep on trying. The Tao is wherever you are, so the next opportunity to try is just around the corner.
 

By Christian and Su Zhen

Spending a Moment with your Self

What do you associate with summer?  For some strange reason summer reminds me of boredom.  As a student I was always looking forward to my summer vacation. You probably remember the stressful time towards the end of the school semester as well, with all the tests coming your way, so you  intensely looked forward to the relaxing summer break.  When all the tests finally finished, what a relief.  But soon, the boredom comes with the peace.

Boredom can actually be a sign that your life is going well and there is nothing to worry about.  Can you be thankful for this moment?  It sounds weird, doesn't it? Few can stand the feeling of boredom.  Christian's boys always ask him "What can we do?", and he routinely responds back, "just be bored" and they always get very upset when they hear it. But believe it or not, the ability to be open to your emptiness inside is a sign of spiritual maturity. Just sit there and perceive the emptiness and boredom in yourself. Do it now and just see what happens.

Soon you will go out and look for excitement, but if you are really honest with yourself, you know that you are just plastering over the emptiness inside. Doing means you don't have to deal with stuff that wants to come to the surface.  No matter how many fun rides you line up, sooner or later your inner self will catch up with you anyway. Yet, this is how most of us are living our lives.  We cannot really be at peace with the moments we are in.  We always have opinions about life when it wants to interact with us.  Perhaps you have seen the movie "Clicks"?  We are pretty much leading our lives like that.  When we are "here" we want to be "there". And while we experience the divine Now, we are always looking forward to the next moment or evaluate the past.

I am not saying that you shouldn't try to make your life better. I am not saying that you can't have fun.  I am inviting you to take a deep look at yourself at this holy moment called Now.  Are you really dealing with the issues that bother you deep down inside? Could it be that you are in fact running away from your Self? Are you even able to live a peaceful life? Just try, spend this precious moment with your Self and see what happens.

By Su Zhen and Christian

Peace

Buddha allegedly once said "The good stuff, do it. The bad stuff, don't." That is indeed it. When you have reached that stage, peace is yours. When every action, every word and even every thought and feeling you experience is in harmony with the Way, peace, bliss and love are yours forever.

Unfortunately, Buddha's insight is exactly why so many in our spiritual community struggle. You want something. You want to be peaceful, you even try convincing yourself that you are peaceful and happy. Yet you are not. You are "here" even though you want to be "there". You want so much to be "there"  because deep down inside you know how miserable you are.  You mind that your "ego" is in the way to experience the "True Self" and that is why you are not peaceful.

Well, perhaps you can read the previous paragraph one more time. Do you now see the way out? Stop trying to be "there" and start accepting the here and now and you actually have a shot at being peaceful. Make peace with your "ego", make peace with everything that is hidden deep down inside, everything that wants to come out to the surface, ugly and crazy as it may look to you. Accept the here and now, accept everything life brings your way. The "I" that you experience, the subconscious urges that you can recognize in the Freudian slips. Know that with every loving gesture just as with every frown you see, you are looking at yourself that moment. When you can accept everything life brings your way, when you accept what is, the "here"  merges with the "there". You never have to do anything to live in the world the Buddha describes. Just drop everything right now and appreciate the "here". That is all really.

 Cancel all self-improvement classes. Stop reading what notions others have about spirituality for a couple of years. Make peace with yourself first. What is self-improvement? It is your mind telling you how things should be. Believe it or not, there is actually violence in this approach since you neglect where you are coming from. You neglect your psychological demands, the unresolved struggles of your parents that you still have to live through. You neglect your unique personality which may well have been an outgrowth of some previous lives. And you certainly have demands from your manliness or your feminine side that needs to be expressed, not to mention the hunger of the selfish gene - the stuff that got you here over the last couple of million years. But you know what, despite all that you can experience peace here and now. Buddha found his way, now you find yours!

The Way is the realization that life is a mirror reflecting all your tensions, aspirations, hope, desires and struggles back to you. This Matrix knows who you are. More than that, the Matrix knows that you already are "there", so it puts the world as you experience it in front of you so that you can backtrack your steps. Accept who you are and then embrace life and always put your best foot forward. When you open up to everything life brings  you with an open mind, the Way - the Tao - will lead you back to the Source. Sometimes you run fast, sometime you stroll in a beautiful park, sometimes you barbecue with dear friends and sometimes you fight with contractors to get the home improvement you paid for. But in all that you can experience incredible peace because you know that you are walking the Way. May Peace be with you!

A Jump into the Cold Water

Nothing can hurt you unless you give it the power to do so.
A Course in Miracles

One year ago our older boy wanted to show off his swimming abilities so when the pool opened he proudly went to the deep end of our swimming pool, went up to the jumping board and without having been in the water before, he jumped in. Of course we all clapped and cheered and he only smiled politely, but when he came out of the water I overheard how he was mumbling to himself, " Phew, I won't do that again!" apparently he had completely underestimated how cold the water would be at the beginning of the season since we don't heat our pool.

Actually, that sums up the path of a spiritual path traveler pretty well. You get used to a peace of mind and a lack of fear that is simply beyond comprehension. And if now and then you do take a wrong step along your path, you will be in for a rude awakening just as my son found out when he plunged into the cold water. It is not that God withdraws Her love, that will never happen. It is that it is unfortunately in your power to give your demons something to feed on and when they have their party you suddenly remember how the old days used to be. "Phew, I won't do that again!", is the natural conclusion.

The difference between a spiritual path and the ordinary way of doing things is that everything that happens to you - good or bad- is internalized. Every voice that you hear is meaningful to you. You simply understand what it stands for. For the ordinary folks there is no cause and effect. Someone comes and beats you up and you have no idea why, never mind that you did exactly the same thing to someone else a few years ago. So when cause and effect is immediately made plain to you, why would you do anything that ends up hurting yourself? You don't really have a choice as a Tao traveler, but to get to that realization takes a little back and forth.