Only the Inadequate is Productive

See the stone set in your eyes,
see the thorn twist in your side,
I'll wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate,
on a bed of nails she makes me wait.
And I wait without you.

Through the storm, we reach the shore.
You gave it all but I want more
and I'm waiting for you.
With or without you,
with or without you,
I can't live with or without you.
(U2, With or Without You)

In the spiritual community we often have the ideal of love, peace and happiness, yet if we are willing to look beneath the hood, we perceive struggle as well. Discussing these struggles is complicated and sometimes counterproductive given that we all come from a different vantage point. Yet, while our struggles are idiosyncratic, there is an overriding theme that we all should be aware of: the pressure within often kick-starts the search for the complete, the perfect, the infinite. And for that we should be grateful for.

The German poet Goethe once said, "Only the inadequate is productive." Why do we talk and write so much in the spiritual community? Because we want this tension and conflict inside to be over with and we channel that conflicted energy into our search for God. We are literally on a healing mission. And if we truly understand where we coming from we have in fact a perfect opportunity of letting go today. We live in the best of all worlds. Our struggles are in fact perfect imperfections that catapult us on our journey Home. Our creative outlet is our mission; our struggle is the energy source for creation and the ability to let go.

When I looked for the U2 song that expresses that inner struggle quite well - "With or a Without You" - I came across The Joshua Tree Tour in 1987 in which Bono ended the song after a beautiful guitar solo with "Yeah, we'll shine like stars in the summer night. We'll shine like stars in the winter light; one heart, one hope, one love, with or without you." Well, that's it. Shine like a star! Reflect and magnify that tremendous energy that slumbers inside you. Honor your starting point,find your creative outlet and share your light with others. When the light is shining, the conflict is gone and peace, love and happiness are with you.

With or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
(U2, With or Without You)

When the psychologist Carl Gustav Jung went to high school he was incredibly poor, while most of his fellow students were quite well off. He was also introverted and was considered an oddball. One day someone pushed him out of the blue onto the cobbler stones and Jung bumped his head. As he was lying on the floor, slipping in and out of consciousness, he realized what an incredibly relieving feeling this was. From that day on he used fainting spells as a way to escape from things he was afraid off until the day when his father, who he considered weak, complained about it. From that day on he pulled himself together and overcame all his fears with pure willpower.

I read this story about Jung in Gary Lachman's excellent book "Jung the Mystic" and it made a deep impression on me. Of course, the way the big guys separate themselves from the ordinary folks is that willpower makes them accomplish what they feel is theirs; they "feel the fear and do it anyway", as Susan Jeffers demands in her same-titled book. Yet what exactly makes the big guys successful? Well, it is the drives in them, the unsolved conflicts, the tensions that have to be released for otherwise they would explode. Often successful people are really miserable deep down inside. It is this tension that makes them a lion.

The spiritual community has a problem. We be believe that Heaven on earth is a right that is ours to take. Certainly, Heaven on earth was created just for you,  but first of all you have a job to do. Accept the tension inside, don't wish it way. Accept the twist of fate, the thorn in your side and understand that your drive, your passion and your creativity depends on them. Dance with your driving force, and accept for a while that you can't live with or without it. Perhaps one fine day the tension will magically resolve itself, or perhaps it never will. But this tension, this darkness that you are afraid of in fact makes you the person you were born to be.

Creative Tensions

The tension is unbearable. I hope it lasts.
(Oscar Wilde)

 I can tell you something about the creative tension that Oscar Wilde refers to. I work as a strategist in the financial industry and it is part of my job description to make predictions about events whose outcomes are unknown. The tension when you make a forecast is unbearable. Your mind searches intensely during these periods for clues, but fact of the matter is that at the time when you make your predictions you just don't know what will happen. What you do know, however, is that every voice you meet is important.  You have learned over and over again that there is no hierarchy, every hint, loud or quiet, matters. So be grateful for the golden opportunity that comes your way when you bump into people today; everyone has a present in hand for you.

The tension has to be there. If you knew everything in advance you would no longer value the input of others as much. You might even look down on the people who have the 'wrong' point of view at that particular juncture. The happiness comes once the tension gets resolved one way or another, so if you want to enjoy the ensuing happiness, you have to bear the tension as well.

So where exactly is the security that many spiritual path travelers report if they are as exposed to uncertainty as everyone else? The security comes from the realization that no matter what happens, the outcome will be spiritual meaningful to you. Sure, there are dark valleys and perhaps even enemies along the way, but as Psalm 23 reminds us, the spiritual path traveler will always be equipped to handle every scary moment just fine. It took me a while to accept the unbearable tension of life, but like Oscar Wilde before me, I now want more of it every day.