The Fisher and His Wife

When our boys were a little younger they loved listening to fairy tales; as it turned out, 'The Fisher and His Wife' wasn't one of them. I understand why, the story does hit a little too close to home and little children are aware enough to pick this up. The fairy tale goes like that, a poor fisher catches a golden fish who promises him three boons if he lets him free again. The fisher lets the golden opportunity slip, but sets the fish free nevertheless. At home, he tells his wife about it and she demands that he goes back to ask the fish for a big house. Soon after she got her house,  she wants a castle. Soon after she got a castle she wants a kingdom. Even being a queen is not satisfying enough, and soon afterwards - her fourth wish -she wants to be God. Well, she clearly overstepped her boundaries and ends up being back in her old house without anything.

Norman Mailer in his book 'On God' reported that he always felt the most energetic when both his demon as well as his angel were equally excited about a certain project. That's what we tend to do. We are passionate about something and run after it, but as we are hit with many choices a long the way, the saner part in us tends to get the upper hand more often than not, especially when we deal with other people. Your ego is obsessed with something, while your True Self uses life as a perfect opportunity to heal. It doesn't matter what you are running after, the perfect opportunity to heal just lies around the corner. Only one thing is required though, you need to have both feet in life. If your head is in fantasy land all the time, the healing process cannot reach you because the loud voice of your ego tends to drown out the quite voice of reason.  This brings me back to the story of the fisher and his wife. She never spent time with any of her new entitlements. She didn't spend time in her new large house, experiencing what it means to take care of a large property. She didn't spend time in her castle, observing what it takes to lead people. She also didn't spend any time as a queen and consequently didn't know what it means to be responsible for an entire kingdom. No, before life could interact with her, her passion already got her to the big next crazy idea.

Along the way the whimsical fisher got many clues that the progression of things wasn't going right. When he went to the water to call the fish, the water got progressively darker and the weather progressively worse. He also had to wait longer and longer before the fish showed up. The Tao provides these signs, the feedback mechanism to make the right choices. Life heals if you are willing to take everything that happens to you and in your environment into consideration. Yes, you have to run after your passions - this happens to be your mission statement - but it is your job as a creator to find the solution that is consistent with your unique spiritual path. The fisher and his wife weren't ready to command their creative powers, but at least you can always learn from their mistakes. 

Futility

When we really ask what drives us we have to conclude that with every right-minded passion there is a dark one attached to it. In the olden days we dealt with them by declaring them sinful. We built up the psychological punishment mechanism that gave us some protection to do the right thing. But boy, when we crossed over to the dark side, we did punish ourselves. After all, we humans are powerful, whatever we believe in, we manifest into our lives. Then came Freud's insight about the superego along. I think this concept is still relevant for us spiritual path travelers today. By speculating what our True Self is all about, we create a superego in us. Actually, the superego is the modern day sin concept. If you know what your higher authority in you wants and you nevertheless give in to your temptation, you generate psychological conflict in you.

The other option you have is understanding where exactly your behaviour will lead you. I have often told the fairy tale of the fisher and his wife which is a classic story of the ego-driven desire. A fisher finds a golden fish who offers 3 boons, and his wife uses them to first get a bigger house, a palace, then a kingdom, and lastly, the fourth wish, to become God. While the first three wishes are granted, she ends up in her old fisher hut when the fourth wish is uttered. Futility! When we follow our dark passions we know where we will end up. We can see it in people who have been down this road, and we can feel it in ourselves. Yes, it is hard to stop the car and turn it around, and yes, there still will be conflict, but it is our choice, we do not need to appeal to any higher source in us and accumulate psychological baggage in the process. We reposition and channel our frustration into a more productive area. After discovering that your road leads to nowhere, no temptation can get you anymore.

Aspire, Manifest, Reflect and Renounce

We are eating from the Tree of Knowledge again. We were little children when we took our first bite many thousand years ago and were afraid of the responsibility to choose between good and evil. In the meantime we have grown up and the next step in our evolution is to move beyond good and evil. Express yourself and play your part in the divine play.

There is a tao of life that shines before you. Right or wrong very much depends on your personal path. As Lord Krishna told Arjun that it was his duty to kill people he cared for in the battlefield, who knows what is in store for you - only you can be the judge. The brother you may meet today may have a sign around his neck -  of course invisible to himself - "brother, please teach me a precious lesson".

The question of course is how to separate the egotistic I demands from the longings of your soul. That's what Jnana Yoga is all about, i.e. the path of wisdom. No authority, no guru or holy book can help you with these decisions. You only have your intuition, and the little signs life throws at you. Aspire to realize your dreams, manifest them as best as you can, but be prepared to drop them if life tells you to. Aspire, manifest, reflect and renounce - that's what Jnana Yoga is all about. Yes this, but not that!

Eckhart Tolle writes that women are ahead of men on the spiritual journey. This resonated with me. Women are more closely connected with their hearts and "feel" themselves from decision to decision. For somebody like me who has a stronger intellectual connection, all I can do is to look out for the signs that life has to offer as I make my choices. No matter what you do, there is always a quite voice in the background that begs to be heard.

Take the fairy tale of the fisher and his wife as an example. The fisher finds a golden fish one day and declines his offer for a boon as he feels he already has everything his heart desires. His wife thought differently  and makes the fisher go back and ask the fish first for a bigger house, then a castle, a kingdom and eventually to become God. One wish after the other gets fulfilled, but progressively the sea gets darker, the weather worse and the fisher has to wait longer and longer before the golden fish shows up. Eventually, when the wife wants to become God, the golden fish tells the fisher that his wife has lost everything and is back in their old filthy shack.

So what exactly is the moral of the story? It is not that we shouldn't aspire to express ourselves. It is knowing what desires to manifest and what desires to renounce. The fisher's wife could never see the signs of discouragement to go further as her submissive husband was unable to communicate them to her. I don't know what her dharma (destiny) was, but she certainly aimed for stars that were out of her reach. Know your dharma and  fulfill it and you don't have to worry about good and evil any longer.

The Fisher and his Wife (With Alternate Ending)

There was a once a fisher who went every day out to the sea to catch some fish. One day he caught a beautiful golden fish. To his surprise the fish could speak and offered to fulfill him 3 wishes if he let him go. The fisher said he had none and put the fish back in the sea anyway. When he told his wife the story she got upset and said he should have asked for a big house. So the fisher had to go back and the wish was granted by the fish. Still the wife wasn't happy, she asked for a palace afterwards, then she wanted to be queen. All wishes were granted. Finally, the fisher had to ask the fish on behalf of his wife to become God - the fourth wish - and she lost everything.

In the second story, the fisher actually has a wish when he catches the golden fish. He says that he and his wife would like to live in a bigger house and the wish got granted. After some reflection, he goes back to the sea and asks for a palace. After some reflection he goes back and asks to be a king. When he goes the fourth time, he said, you know, instead of just asking for things and positions I would like to request the power to create. The fish declined and said that he was only offered 3 wishes. But then he added, it was your belief in my power that got you all that. Find this power inside yourself and go for the stars. Farewell.