Anger Management

Anger is a very powerful energy. Most of us use it in a very destructive way. A lot of people are killed every year just because the anger has reached a boiling point at which you just loose control. Have you ever observed in yourself what exactly triggers your anger?

There are many reasons why we lose our temper. An important one is that we feel that we are not loved. Everyone wants to be loved, everyone want to be listened to and cared for, everyone longs for acceptance from others. There is so much suppressed and sometimes open hostility between family members because family is the place where we know it is our birthright to be love. When this authentic need is being violated frustrations build until one day you are going to explode.

Anger is a very negative energy that builds up over time. In your day to day interactions with friends, colleagues and strangers something in you might be triggered and then steam suddenly bursts out into the open. How can we be aware of this destructive energy building up in us and release it in an acceptable, or perhaps even a constructive way? Accumulating your anger energy is not good for anyone, the longer you repress it, the more destructive it becomes. It is always much easier to deal with this energy when it is in the early stages. Mother Sage has suggested in the Spiritual Networks community that you can release your anger on a weekly basis. She recommended hitting a pillow or screaming in a running car where no one can hear you. When Christian was a student, some of his colleagues were screaming out of their dorm windows during exam time just to let off some steam. At work, several of his stressed colleagues practice power work-outs or kick-boxing. Whatever works for you, try to get all the frustrations out of you.

Observing yourself when you get angry is another very potent method to deal with it. For example you may observe how you lose your temper whenever you are tired and your children put demands on you. Afterwards you will feel guilty just because the children didn't really do anything wrong. See for yourself that just observing anger in motion can be very therapeutic and reduce its impact on you because you decide not to get carried away by it.

Once you monitor your own anger rising and falling, it is so much easier to see the same phenomenon in others. With this understanding forgiveness is so much easier. A spiritual path is really mindful living, that is, learning to be aware of anything that is happening in you and others. With this understanding you will find that your anger energy will get triggered less and less. You will also better understand how to deal with people and treat them with the care and respect that they deserve.

They say don't let a good crisis go waste. The same holds true for anger. Experience this emotion, negative as it is, fully and then transcend it. There is only one true emotion along the path and that is love. Everything else you can experience as a transient shock to the system that soon gets digested and released like bad food typically is. You can in fact manage your anger no matter what your circumstances are, please try it.

By Christian and Su Zhen