Anger and Guilt are Different Sides of the Same Coin

Her eyes were red, her heart was in pain. She was in big fury; someone had treated her very badly. She wanted revenge and her heart was filled with hatred. These hateful thoughts ruminated in her head and she just couldn’t fall asleep. As a spiritual traveler, she knew that the best way for her was to walk away from this pain, to live and let live. However, she just couldn’t do it.

She had been torturing herself with these turbulent emotions for a couple days now when suddenly new memories popped up. She remembered people she had hurt instead. She regretted now what she had done to them. Just like with the anger fit before, once present, these memories of guilt they just wouldn't leave her head. She couldn't forgive herself either.

Then a liberating thought crossed her mind.

Did she harm these people on purpose?  No.

Did she know what she was doing at that time? No.

Did she want to be forgiven by these people and by herself?  Yes.

Wow! She could forgive herself after this insight, and just as easily, forgive the folks who had mistreated her. These feelings of anger and guilt disappeared just as gas passes the digestive system. Her so-called adversaries didn’t know what they were doing either. Had they known how to do it better, they probably would have. Just like the mistakes she had made, had she known how to handle the situation better, she would have.

Our unconscious is wise. It wasn't a coincidence that the soul searching spiritual aspirant went in her memories from anger to guilt. Both resentments are different sides of the same coin. We are one, so just as the Golden Rule states, "do unto others what you want to have done to you". Yet whenever you hear a voice in your head saying, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth", know that this is exactly the same voice that will relentlessly beat you up over some supposed mistakes you have made in the past. So next time you hear that vengeful voice again, ponder instead "he who is without sin, let him throw the first stone".

We all are here to play some roles to learn to forgive and be forgiven, to accept and be accepted.  We all are here to learn to love others as well as us. We are here to experience that we are one. Anger and guilt are both negative energy spirals. Step out of them, it is very much in your power to do so. With this insight in mind, our spiritual aspirant had a good night's sleep.

By Christian and Su Zhen