Craving Love

Shilin is always in trouble. Given her childhood experience, you probably wouldn't be surprised. Her parents divorced when she was two. Her mother got her custody but was always struggling herself. Shilin was first entrusted to a nanny and two years later her grandparents took her in.

The day her mother dropped Shilin off at her grandparents' home, both cried buckets.  Her grandparents tried their best to take care of her, but they had their limits. The burden of life kept them busy so they were unable to pay attention to all her needs.

These scary childhood experiences stayed with her. From early days on she could never really feel secure.  Her insecurities remained, especially when she was interacting with others. She always demanded the sky so no one could stand being too close to her. A vicious cycle was in the making. The more eager she was to build a relationship, the more she drove people away.

But life takes care of everyone, no matter what. Because of her situation, she came across quite a lot of nice people who were trying to help her.  However, she always grabbed these people like a drowning swimmer would. Eventually, even the most patient friends would give up on her.

The more she looked for people’s love, the more she drove them away. Her relationship with her mother was exactly like that as well. However, no matter how tough a nut there is to crack, God always has an answer. Angels came to guide her through her darkest moments. Every time when she was drowning someone more powerful came along to lend her a hand. After years of healing and support she managed to become independent and she is mostly happy now. Eventually, she was even able to forgive her mother. Since that day, she was finally able to establish healthy relationships with people around her. From time to time old ghosts from the past tend to pop up, but they disappear pretty quickly as well.

Are you experiencing a dark moment now?  Don’t give up!  You set yourself up for all of this just as Shilin did before you. The nut to crack is your mission to find yourSelf. So much love is waiting for you. Just as there are some grumpy people who close doors in front of you, the friendly ones with the keys in their hand are already on the way.  When you are craving love you will always find it. You are love, just learn to cut out a few interferences along the Way.

By Christian and Su Zhen