Our society uses punishment and disapproval to steer others in the "right" direction, and we use the same method to shape our children’s behavior. I do that with my children like everyone else, but it was only recently that I noticed the fallacy in this approach. First, children have a life of their own, and second, they only mind the constant interference and get more determined to go their own way.
We want to see others and our children to see this world through our eyes, yet we forget that they are there to help us see this world through their eyes as well. When we impose our will on others we are not thinking of them, we are only thinking of ourselves. We are irritated by their behavior and we want it to change right away. To the contrary, when we focus on the other perspective, we suddenly understand its meaning and significance. With this acceptance and insight everyone involved calms down and we are wiser for it. Love dissolves any difficulty.
By Christian and Su Zhen