It is amazing how the life of our children reflects back on us. In my case, the difficulties of my autistic child showed me how my soul development was stuck at the same time. We all know that children with autism have a development disorder, and as I tried to help him, I realized that my own stagnation was a symptom of his struggle and vice versa.
The moment I stopped to develop because of my fears of stress, sickness, and death, I also stopped connecting with my children to the best of my abilities. Of course, I still provided them food and provided them with the care a mother supplies, but our soul connection was not flourishing.
When my younger son was diagnosed with autism, I was not able to help him because of my own weaknesses. I refused to work because I was scared of stress and sickness. Similarly, I was not able to help him because I simply didn’t know how to overcome my challenges and how to proceed.
Naturally, the seed of my love toward to my son was always there despite these difficulties. After all these years of working on myself and him, I observed how whenever I disposed of some of my inner resistances, he also had break-through moments. It was then when it occurred to me how much my son's development is tied to my own spiritual growth. Wow! What a liberation and realization when this insight hit me!
Of course I am not going to let my own weakness pull down my son's development. As I made this vow, I clearly see how his development takes off together with mine. What a win-win situation, as my soul flies my son flourishes with me.
What a great moment of love!
By Su Zhen