Have you ever noticed what is going on inside when hatred arises in you? Have you observed how you make yourself a victim when you blame others for your misery? Hatred arises in us when others disappoint us. We blame them for our misery. Implicitly, we tell ourselves a story of the misfortunes that happened to us because of them, and we believe in it. Unfortunately, with it, we lose the chances to really understand what’s going on.
We sometimes hate our parents because they left us some homework that they couldn't get done themselves. We hate our spouse when our elevated expectations get disappointed. And we hate our friends when they fail to stand by us when we need them the most. With this hatred we cannot grasp why these people cannot meet our expectations. Are they unwilling or are they simply unable to?
When we hate we bind our fate to the person who bothers us. Yet, more often than not this resentment is absolutely unnecessary because it is based on a faulty perception of what's truly going on. When we realize that the people we are mad at cannot meet our expectation because they are unable to, forgiveness arise in us. When we figure out that we are all in the same boat, hatred just makes little sense. Suddenly, with this insight, we are free to walk away and lead a peaceful life.
The trick is to step out of our negative energy field and a new perspective will arise automatically. Life always offers us a healing perspective if we are only willing to zoom into it. Before you allow hatred to take over, give forgiveness another try.
By Christian and Su Zhen