nothing can stand in our way.
You have to believe we are magic,
Don't let your aim ever stray.
And if all your hopes survive
destiny will arrive.
I'll bring all your dreams alive,
for you. (Magic, Olivia Newton-John)
There is a magic world out there, but in order to access it, you have to play by different rules that you grew up with. If you run after the magic, it disappears. It is never about "you" per se, it is about love. It is about you interacting with a beautiful world that many are too busy to see. But if you are running after the gold glittering on the horizon, you simply miss the diamonds right near you.
Take a deep breath. Let go of the heavy armor that protected you in the past. You can dance with life so much better this way. As your spiritual powers grow, your trust in everything life brings your way will naturally grow. Experience for yourself that the innocent are perfectly safe. Give magic a try and just see what happens.