Sunday, December 11, 2016

On Subconscious Drives

As the year is winding down I am reflecting on a curious investment that I got involved in. I was literally sitting on the fence regarding a particular investment question, but when a colleague "accidentally" kicked me under the table I took it as a sign to jump into the discussion. For weeks and even months my position looked like a wild goose's chase, but eventually the idea turned out to be spectacularly right. In hindsight, it seemed that I had just been riding the energy of other investors all the way, only thinking that I was in charge of what I was saying. 

The big surprise was how much of this ride was really a subconscious journey, just responding to the triggers others provided. I was driven by "stored up feelings" that others activated and they propelled me forwards. I felt yanked around by my own subconscious agenda, as well as the demands and encouragements of others like a pin pong ball. The other amazing insight I had this year, when a new investment case emerged, and when I again got "accidentally" kicked by an investor, I suddenly felt in control. It was as if most of the stored up energy was spent on the old case, and I was now free to tackle the new case as the conscious and self-aware investor we are supposed to be.

This incident was really a wake-up call that all of us operate under a blanket. We think we are in charge, but we are not. Childhood memories, prior hurts, fantasies and suppressed aspirations are doing the talking. Yes, it is true, I was able to "gain consciousness" on these drives in just a year, but I credit my spiritual path for this insight and not myself. Everyone has access to life's therapy. The reason why some people are trapped in this subconscious quest for years, and even decades, is because they are misguided by artificial goals and unwilling to face their fears. Change can only come when you react to life's wisdom rather than trying to impose your will on it. 

If you feel your brother is the problem you will shadow-box all your life. Karmic bonds will be replayed over life-times with no party ever waking up to the movie set they are trapped in. When you are unwilling to look past your fears or unwilling to question the fantasies you are running after, karma will continue to accurate until you exhaust yourself. There is no alternative to walking a spiritual path. Only when we surrender to the higher FORCE that has created the maya of life to bring us HOME will we awaken to the movie plot we are part of. Sigmund Freud was onto something big, but even he wasn't bold enough. The only road to freedom is by letting go of everything and letting HER take over.

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