The Hammer

Nature has given him a "present" that porn sites only dream about but that he came to hate, an enormous penis size. Growing up he was always teased by other boys, and he felt like a freak. Coming of age was awkward at best, one night a girl he really liked grabbed her clothes and ran out of the house when she saw him naked for the first time. But as the years went by the going got easier; he even got used to his nickname, "the hammer". In college he had for the first time a girlfriend who experienced his size as mildly pleasurable, and then there came the day when he met the woman of his dreams who was made for him in every way. Whether it was her different anatomy or her neurological wiring that transferred physical pain into pleasure no one knows, but they hit it off with each other and found true love inside and outside of the bedroom.


The phallus symbol can become an idol, that is, the object that some men project their powers into. When I read the story of the boy with the oversized penis I thought it was ironic that what some dream about having, some find in fact annoying. It is perhaps not so hard to figure out that there is more to life than having a big penis, but we all struggle with our idiosyncratic idols at one point or another in our journey. The hunger for success, power or money would be some examples in that direction, but even more subtly, the drive to be a respected community leader, the desire of getting our children into prestige universities, or aiming to become a renowned spiritual teacher.


Life shows us what is real and what is not over time, but we have to be willing to question our motives and have to be able put 1 and 1 together. A little idol hunt has to be part of our life story as we have to follow our passions; not following our passions in the name of spirituality is slow suicide. Yet, life stands ready to show us what is real and what is not worth our time. In the presence of love, all false gods melt into nothingness.