Sunday, March 19, 2017

Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be ...

Only the inadequate is productive.

If I had a Conversation with GOD, I would ask him if I could just fast-forward time and learn what lies ahead. I don't think it can be done because the future, just like the past, interacts with the holy NOW. It is in the present where our consciousness expresses itself. To imply that we can fast-forward this would be to say that we are predictable robots, not GOD's co-creators. That, anyway, would be my hunch, but whatever GOD's response would turn out to be, I am sure it would make perfect sense either way.

I honestly admit that I would love to fast-forward my life at times. I very well know that this desire is in conflict with everything spirituality is about, but desires are just that, mental constructs that don't take the well-meaning advice of others into consideration. I feel i am in a professional pressure cooker and it irks me not to know how this story will end. I want this pain to go away, but of course, and most likely luckily for me, I can't.

As I had these thoughts I had the realization that this pressure does in fact power the engine that keeps me going. All the injustices, all the disappointed expectations, all the scores that I still want to settle, even the fear of not making it; they all fuel the subconscious necessity to keep going, whether I like it or not. Goethe's quote comes to mind; it is often the most miserable who push the hardest. All this stored frustration has to go somewhere otherwise we would simply explode. This quest will one day come to an end, but for the time being, the show must go on.

"Relax, let your hair down, just wait and see what will happen; it gonna be fine", is the advice I am giving to myself. Not that I have much choice in the matter anyway, but that's how it always turned out in all prior pressure cooker situations. Who knows, perhaps that's exactly what GOD would say to me in our conversation as well.

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