Transformed by Life

Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.
(John Wayne)

I probably died five times in the last two years. I am in the prediction business and as a more risk-averse forecaster with a tendency to perfectionism, am surrounded by risk loving investors who approach the business with much less emotional baggage. When I get things right I shrug my shoulders and say, "well, that was kind of obvious!". When I am wrong, however, something inside of me simply dies. My friends are the opposite, when they get stuff wrong the say, "I was just a little early", but when they are proven right, they dance on the table instead. You may ask why I do what I do and I answer, life put me here, and apparently wants me to proceed a while further.


My astrologer told me that an amazing spiritual journey of insights and break-throughs lies ahead for me personally. In the meantime I have figured out what she means. Each time a steam roller goes over me, whatever is left of me afterwards, is transformed. After every storm I am a little more enlightened, and a little more free.

I sometimes feel as John Wayne did when he saddled up. Let's see what life brings next time around. I have a hunch that somehow somewhere yet again a transformed self is waiting for me.