and a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays.
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
I asked him when it sank in that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man, what'd you do?" He said, “I went skydiving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying"
And he said, "Someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying".
(Tim McGraw, Live like You Were Dying)
When I learned about the cancer of a colleague I had worked with for a long time, I made it a point to visit him on my regular visits to Germany. We picked a restaurant in the center of Frankfurt and each time I visited, we had lunch there. Initially I wasn't quite sure what exactly my role was in this exchange. Could I be a healer, a helper, a psychologist? I told my friend about my other career as a spiritual writer and he was naturally interested to learn more about it given the seriousness of the disease.
There was something interesting about my friend; we worked in the same industry, we almost had the age, he being born a few weeks after me. When I met him what turned out to be the last time ever, I perceived anger in him. Was he angry at the situation he is in? That would be only natural. After all he was married and had children just like me. Caught in a situation like that, I would probably had the same anger and fear inside of me.
I found in my friend a remarkable will-power to live that I am not sure I would have had, had I been in his shoes. It was not enough. He died 6 months after our last meeting. What a waste of a precious life! My friend’s struggle started a lot of Soul-searching in me. I realized that I was exactly like him, carrying exactly the same mental battles with me. As it turns out, I have left the stressful financial industry in the meantime. Yet, have I truly solved the battle of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is inside of me? The desire to be someone is still there, next to the calming Voice telling me that everything I ever wanted is already inside of me. A spiritual path is the ultimate cancer treatment. It transcends the shadow boxing exercise of the self with the SELF.
Treat yourself today! I am not sure that you have to climb the bull Fumanchu for 2.7 seconds, but perhaps you can express your love to the people who are so meaningful in your life. Maybe you can pay yourself a compliment, or treat yourself in a way you haven’t done in a long time. An inner conflict is not something to be ashamed off. We all have those. Understand that life works hard in the background, helping you to let go of what is no longer you. Life is such a beautiful present. Value it here and now and see how your immune system will be perking up instantaneously.
Cancer of the mind, be gone! Sooner or later, the body will follow.