‘I Am’, I Cried

All of humanity’s problem stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
(Blaise Pascal)

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop for years. Half the world’s population adored him when during his reign. Then it became apparent that something inside of him was off, but he didn’t quit trying to stay in the game. I remember him screaming to a handful of onlookers during one of his trials, ‘you ain’t seen nothing yet!’I also saw the preparations for his world tour, 6 months before his death. He still wanted to be the best. What is that drive for fame, love, riches, or whatever else it is that we crave to have? It’s like a cancer eating away at us, especially if we don’t get what we want, or if others stand in our way. This engine, this drive is what is expelled us from the Garden of Eden. It wasn’t Eve tempting Adam who was responsible for our plight, it was Adam’s inability to sit still, even surrounded by love, beauty and divinity. The symbol of the snake is
kundalini energy stuck in a lower chakra.

Diana Ross sings in ‘Ain’t no Mountain High Enough’:

I know you must follow the sun,
wherever it leads
but remember, if you should fall short of your desires,
remember, life holds for you one guarantee,
you always have Me.

This reminder tells you everything you need to know about our Home-coming. We must be so fed up with what we are running after that one day we just through away our toys and cry for Her. That’s when She will come, for the devout traveler that is. The rest of us who don’t quite have that faith, we have to have the ability to just sit there and stand up to our demons, being willing to jump into the dark vortex that is just about to engulf us for the reason that there is no alternative.

Have you ever wondered why so many in our spiritual community are so beaten up? Diseases or inner conflicts; an inability of many empaths to make a comfortable living in a ruthless 3D world. Did it ever ask why? Isn’t it written that those who are last shall be first? Maybe we old souls who have been the Elvis, Rockefeller, Casanova, or Genghis Khan in a prior lifetime. With nothing left to prove we are hanging out, restless, not knowing what the final step is.

The idea for this note came the other day when I heard two Neil Diamond songs on two separate Boston stations within 10 minutes. Besides ‘Sweet Caroline’ which is the Boston Red Sox theme song, we don’t hear Neil Diamond that often, so amused by the synchronicity, I started listening to ‘I Am, I Said’ and realized that it in fact carries a very deep spiritual meaning:

“LA is fine, but it ain’t home.
New York is home, but it ain’t mine no more”

describes the familiar ‘with or without you’ feeling that we all know so well.

“Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed
of being a king, and then became one.

describes the Michael Jackson success story, but Neil complains that he still feels empty inside. So in desperation he cries,

“But I’ve got an emptiness inside me and I tried,
but it won’t let go. I’ve never cared for the sound of being alone.”

“I Am”, he cried, not knowing how close he is to liberation. Just a little step further, withstanding the sound of being alone, facing the restlessness without moving an inch, to finally realize at the end of a long journey, “I Am That I Am”!