Sacrifice and suffering

 Student:  In my dream, I saw how my pain was tossed out, and then I didn't know who I was anymore after this pain was gone. I wanted to get some of it back, but I couldn’t get it. I felt worried and didn’t know who I was.  It seemed that I needed to have this pain to feel my existence.  If I didn’t have this pain, I was not ‘me’ anymore.

 

Suzhen: This is a good sign. This is the struggle before you let go of your pain. These old pain patterns are ready to leave but you are not ready to let go yet. Who would you be without this pain body?  If you could not to sacrifice for others, would your existence be endangered?

 

We always thought that we are doing things for others, but the truth is, we want to have a reason to exist, we want to justify our existence.  So, when we no longer need to sacrifice and suffer, we worry that we won’t be accepted. It means that beneath our suffering, we want to have a reasonable space for our existence. We are scared that there is no space for us. When we are suffering, if we come across an unfair treatment, we will scream and cry. This  is because we cannot see ourselves, and be honest with ourselves. If we can see the root cause of our suffering and sacrifice, it is that we want to feel a secure and reasonable reason to exist. Then you will know why you struggle when the pain is leaving.  We suffer and sacrifice not for others but for ourselves.  When we can see this, we won’t feel imbalanced and unwilling.

If you find Suzhen Liu’s writings helpful, please check out her book, ‘Letting Go—Release Your Suffering’ on Amazon. 

https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Release-Your-Suffering/dp/1982258004