Express Yourself

Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.

~ Freud Sigmund

If I was Jewish my books would be closed now and I would eagerly look forward to the promises of a new year. Given that I am Christian I still have a few more months to go but I think I have already experienced enough to celebrate some accomplishments. This year - it must have some time in April - I cried buckets probably for the first time in my life. This year was also the year when I dug up my music collections from years ago and played it over and over after all the negative stuff had come to the surface. Perhaps it was a tough year for me personally, or perhaps it is a spiritual thing; perhaps I now better understand what it means to be a man, or just perhaps Freud's insight finally sunk in: unexpressed emotions are really not nice so please express yourself! I at least have made that my new life's resolution.

 

On Change

Have you ever had the experience of making a big move either location-wise or professionally?  I found the experience of moving quite interesting.  It is very much like peeling an onion in the way that you discover layers of resistance that you need to overcome. A part within you dies and it creates the space to let in the new.  Every time when I come across resistance inside of me, I always experience pain.  I always feel that something is off. But when I sit down and listen to myself, I suddenly can understand the resistance and then I can let go.  Most of times this resistance is related to some life patterns which I am not yet willing to let go.  And when you are going to have a big move, whenever you are going to have a big change in your life, there are so many things, habits, people, which you need to say good- by to. Change can be scary.

 When you stay with your old life, you have no idea how many habits that you have accumulated; how many people have helped knit the web of your life.  And suddenly, these things all need to go.  And you have to be willing to let them go, or the resistance will disturb your soul. It is actually more than that. The change is presented to you by the Tao to help you letting go. Welcome change, welcome everything that comes your way, even if it feels awkward in the beginning,  it is yet another step on your way Home.

I still remember how attached I was to my old house last time when I moved.  I was quite sad for a long time and had no idea what was going on until one day I realized it was the house I was not willing to let go.  There are usually some wonderful memories that are attached to our homes.  As soon I as I had that realization, I felt happy right away.  Why should I let a house that I no longer own bother me even it was a wonderful house?  Isn’t it amazing how resistance can cause our suffering?  This is why Tao has no differentiation between good and bad.  It is always how you experience everything that comes your way and what attitude you have towards it.  You can always create suffering or joy for yourself regardless of what you are going to experience.

So let go of your resistance and let the Tao take you for a ride. Trust that the change is exactly what your soul needs. All the people, things and memories will always be with you. It is ok to be sad when it is time to go but then let go. Trust and realize the Tao always knows best and takes good care of you.

By Su Zhen