On Leaving the Desire to Escape Behind

I drink not from mere joy in wine nor to scoff at faith - no, only to forget myself for a moment, that alone do I want from intoxication, that alone.
(Omar Khayyam)

Why is there such a deep longing at times to slip back into the unconsciousness? Lots of alcohol does it for you, as do binges of all sorts. It is a brief feeling of exhilaration in which one disconnects from all the sorrows and pain. But alas, the orgasmic high is quickly followed by a dreadful hang-over.

I used to think that this habit of just letting go is a problem of will-power. Yet will-power can carry you only that far. It is hard to be yourself all the time. From childhood on we are molded into a persona and carry it around like a heavy armor. So naturally, all the heavy lifting is followed by the urge to just let go at times. It is an "escape from freedom", as Erich Fromm put it so well in his same-titled book. We spiritual folks may be working especially hard to free ourselves of the robot inside. We manage most of he time, but when for some reason the going gets tough, we just want to let go like everyone else.

If will-power gets you only that far, try to take off the armor that you carry around instead. Merge with life, become one with the problems that you are facing. If you realize that all your so-called problems are here to help you, would you try to escape them? Moreover, grant yourself the needs that you want to satisfy in your orgasmic binges: Love, sexual fulfillment, connectedness, creativity, security, peace of mind. Who exactly says that you can't experience this all the time?

The reason why we frown on all these temporary escapes us that we try to get what is ours with inappropriate methods. Our goal should be to experience connectedness all the time and not just for a brief moment that comes with a big bill attached. Your spiritual path will get all your authentic needs fulfilled if you manage to stay connected.

Yesterday was a special day for me. For the first time since our boys were born we played golf as a family. As I was walking the sun-flooded course I was thinking to myself that I should have granted myself this little pleasure a lot earlier. So please think for a moment, what authentic needs don't you grant yourself right now because you think you are too busy or too poor? I encourage you to take care of all your authentic needs one by one. If you need truly need something, it will be part of the Way.

When you are truly connected with Her, escapes of all sorts are simply unnecessary.