The Four Cs of Love

Sex is the human counterpart of the cosmic process.

(Chinese Proverb)

I was texting a friend the other day and was explaining my spiritual concept of the 3 Cs: care, creation and connection when I saw an object flashing on my phone. Anyone who has texted with an iPhone knows how Apple puts the texts of the conversation partners in different colors and also puts little bubbles around the text. The object that I saw appearing on screen had the form of a penis and given that I was just talking about the 3Cs, the slang version of it crossed my mind. I thought this must be my shadow talking but then lost track of the whole thing as our conversation progressed.

Later that afternoon I read Rollo May's "Love and Will" and in it he discussed the four different concepts of love: sex - libido, devotion to others - caritas, creation - eros, and brotherly love - philia. Immediately my mind went back to my morning conversation. Wasn't that exactly what the 3Cs were about? But what about sex? Was my Freudian Slip just a wake-up call that I had forgotten the physical expression of love?

That's indeed how a shadow works. It reminds you that something is missing in a language that seems a little offish. But the intention is a good one. Yes, sex is a perfect expression of love and it needs to be added as the fourth dimension of love. So the four concepts of love are coitus, care, creation and connection. Actually, the expression coitus is perfect. It means "going together" in Latin - that's something we spiritual travelers can definitely relate to; we always welcome co-travelers along the Way!