The Four Cs of Love

Sex is the human counterpart of the cosmic process.

(Chinese Proverb)

I was texting a friend the other day and was explaining my spiritual concept of the 3 Cs: care, creation and connection when I saw an object flashing on my phone. Anyone who has texted with an iPhone knows how Apple puts the texts of the conversation partners in different colors and also puts little bubbles around the text. The object that I saw appearing on screen had the form of a penis and given that I was just talking about the 3Cs, the slang version of it crossed my mind. I thought this must be my shadow talking but then lost track of the whole thing as our conversation progressed.

Later that afternoon I read Rollo May's "Love and Will" and in it he discussed the four different concepts of love: sex - libido, devotion to others - caritas, creation - eros, and brotherly love - philia. Immediately my mind went back to my morning conversation. Wasn't that exactly what the 3Cs were about? But what about sex? Was my Freudian Slip just a wake-up call that I had forgotten the physical expression of love?

That's indeed how a shadow works. It reminds you that something is missing in a language that seems a little offish. But the intention is a good one. Yes, sex is a perfect expression of love and it needs to be added as the fourth dimension of love. So the four concepts of love are coitus, care, creation and connection. Actually, the expression coitus is perfect. It means "going together" in Latin - that's something we spiritual travelers can definitely relate to; we always welcome co-travelers along the Way!

Let Your Creations Flow Right Through You

When Her work is done, she forgets it.
That's why it lasts forever.
(Tao Te Ching)

There was once a body-builder who had won a number of important tournaments and was on the way to make a name for himself. A friend took him out for dinner and had some advice for him. He said, "you know son, you are in a good position to do something with your life. You have a talent, don't squander it. This body of yours will not earn you a living forever. You could open fitness studios in the LA area; you can become a businessman; you can brand your name." The body-builder laughed and said, "I have other plans. I first will become a famous actor and afterwards become a politician. One day I will be the president of the Unites States."

Do you recognize the German accent when you read this story? Yes, this exchange allegedly once took place between Arnold Schwarzenegger and a friend as he was on his was to win the seven Mr. Olympia championships in body-building. This magnificent body of his was the means to reaching for the stars.

We spiritual travelers sometimes look down on any goals that involve our body, yet, as Arnold Schwarzenegger's showed, he used his impressive body to express the longings of his soul. His body was a means to an end, to break into Hollywood and eventually into politics. There are so many others - dancers, performers, athletes - who manage to express themselves with the help of their amazing bodies. What right do we have to say, "you are not your body"? Yet, the spiritual community is right in pointing out out that you if your body ever becomes an end in itself, chances are you will become depressed one day. The giant is within - eventually, not even the most amazing body can represent the Spirit.

The same is true for money. When earning money in a prestigious job is just the reward for putting your heart and soul into a job that you live doing, the money will flow right through you. Perhaps it becomes the means to financing your children's education, or taking your family on some exciting vacations, and providing a beautiful home. Yet, when you enter a competition with your peers in who has the most earnings and buying power then money unfortunately has become an end in itself. It sticks to you and chances are, sooner or later life will send you a message that you are abusing your creative powers.

The message of spirituality is quite a simple one. Grant yourself whatever your heart desires but make sure none of your belongings possess you. Let all of your creations flow right through you. God gave you your creative powers to enrich all of us. And when your work is done, know that it is good and then walk away. This is the difference between a life-giving, flowing brook and a decaying, stagnant puddle.

Don't get us wrong, you have every reason to be proud of your creation just as God is proud of His. Keep them coming, never get entangled with them and never make them an end in themselves. You would only belittle your creative powers that way. Your creations are the means to uniting your Self with God. Enjoy every step of the Way.

You are the Creator of your Destiny

New experience gives us the chance to observe how open we are to life. We may claim that we are very open, only to find that we are holding on tightly to our old habits and opinions of how things should be done. Alas, when we move to a new place or start a new job, life tells us otherwise. We may think that we are friendly, loving and positive, but then we turn out to be unfriendly, hateful, and negative when things don’t meet our expectation. All these new experiences give us the opportunity to realize how closed-minded we still can be. Life is there to show us how to discover the mind-patterns that still run us. There is a reason that we are thrown in these new situations because we haven’t learned our lessons yet.

I have observed in myself that I tend to be quite negative whenever I move to a new place.  There is always something that doesn't quite meets my expectation: the house is too old, the school doesn't communicate as well as the previous did, the air quality is not as good as in the previous neighborhood, the food is not quite as good. Instead of telling others nicely about my needs and expectations, I find myself acting rude and doubting nearly everyone I encounter. I am a Tao traveler, yet I radiate the energy of pain.

 Whenever I am caught in a negative energy field, I actually create a vicious cycle around me, which in turn attracts more negative feed-back loops. Luckily, mindfulness always liberates me from these negatives cycles and allows me to work on creating a positive experience for myself and the people who are in my life.

We live in a responsive world.  Our thoughts and actions interact with the environment we operate in. Whenever we have a loving, creative, and positive attitude towards the people and environment we are interacting with, they receive this energy and respond to us in kind; on the opposite side, whenever, we lose our trust, being destructive rather than creative, we experience hell.

What do you want to experience in your life?  Be creative!  You decide what environment you want to operate in and you will attract the people in your life who are happy to play with you. You are the creator of your destiny so please use your creative powers well.

By Su Zhen

The Retirement of Retirement

You have the right to work Arjun, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction.
(Lord Krishna, Bhagavad Gita)

A colleague told me other day a story of a fairly successful CEO who retired at the age of 65 and afterwards fell into a big hole of darkness. I can understand why; it is hard to accept if you go from being at the top of the world to apparent "nothingness". Sure, most rich people have the means to hide this transition fairly well. Fancy vacations, club memberships, perhaps even displaying their "trophy wives" in social gatherings but eventually all that is meaningless. Only one thing gives you true happiness, meaning, connectedness and love!

If there is a promise of the Creator it is that meaningful work is yours to choose if only you are willing to go the distance. The rewards the Creator can't promise to you since these are your desires. But as we all know, whenever we put our heart and your soul into something, a few crumbs will come our way. So let's focus our attention to the creative outlets, the connectedness with others and the love for what you do instead and chances are, we will be just fine.

Everyone should always have an eye on the next creative outlet. It is a nice feeling to be at the top of your game and perhaps at the peak of your earning power. Think about passing that golden goose on to someone while you already work on your next endeavor. Sure, there may be a time when you finally settle down with a person you love and really do retire for good. You will know when this point is reached, but until then have fun creating, connecting and caring for what you do!

Uniqueness

By Wild Rose

Comparison is a big trap for us.  As soon as we compare ourselves to other people, we lose the connection to ourselves, to our own energy.

When we compare ourselves to others,  we create suffering for both sides.  If we allow ourselves to be just us, knowing our own quaility, recognizing our own beauty and unique way, and allowing ourselves to develop, we are much happier.  Whenever we are able to accept ourselves, we will be able to accept other people as well.  We will allow them to be just themselves.

You  have to know yourself very well to cherish your own speciality and develop your own uniqueness. You have to be able to experience solitude to find out what you truly know and what you really want. You have to find out who you are.  Too often, we don't know what we want and who we are. Sometimes we are even scared to look at ourselves. We lose ourselves in the crowd because we are scared to be alone with ourselves and scared of the feeling of lonliness.  

When we just hang out with the crowd, we just follow the dream of the crowd, and do what everybody else is doing, we lose our true self, our gift to humanity and ourselves. The crowd may energize us at the moment, but when we are alone again, we fall into depression, only to repeat this exercise again. 

I think the whole journey of life is just to know yourself, allow you to be yourself, and develope yourself.  When you connect yourself in this way, your love for yourself will florish in a way that all your existence is full of joy celebration, and beauty.  It is like God finding Herself again.  When you create, you glorify God.