The Four Cs of Love

Sex is the human counterpart of the cosmic process.

(Chinese Proverb)

I was texting a friend the other day and was explaining my spiritual concept of the 3 Cs: care, creation and connection when I saw an object flashing on my phone. Anyone who has texted with an iPhone knows how Apple puts the texts of the conversation partners in different colors and also puts little bubbles around the text. The object that I saw appearing on screen had the form of a penis and given that I was just talking about the 3Cs, the slang version of it crossed my mind. I thought this must be my shadow talking but then lost track of the whole thing as our conversation progressed.

Later that afternoon I read Rollo May's "Love and Will" and in it he discussed the four different concepts of love: sex - libido, devotion to others - caritas, creation - eros, and brotherly love - philia. Immediately my mind went back to my morning conversation. Wasn't that exactly what the 3Cs were about? But what about sex? Was my Freudian Slip just a wake-up call that I had forgotten the physical expression of love?

That's indeed how a shadow works. It reminds you that something is missing in a language that seems a little offish. But the intention is a good one. Yes, sex is a perfect expression of love and it needs to be added as the fourth dimension of love. So the four concepts of love are coitus, care, creation and connection. Actually, the expression coitus is perfect. It means "going together" in Latin - that's something we spiritual travelers can definitely relate to; we always welcome co-travelers along the Way!

Enjoy the Game

Perhaps you can think of your life as a big interactive video game. We have our goals in mind; we try, we err and learn from the feedback mechanism we receive. Along the way we probably bang our head into a wall a few times just because we think the way to advance is forward despite all the obstacles. We also find it hard to retrain what we have been doing all our life even though it may no longer work for us. Yet sooner or later everyone learns that there must be a better way, so we practice our skill to readjust and to jump out of the hole that we dug for ourselves.

In the olden days energy was scarce, and our brain capacity was limited, so evolution crafted us as habitual machines.  Habitual behavior is something you do over and over again until it finally forms an energy cycle. Once the cycle is established you outsource the activities into the subconscious and the robot inside of you takes over, while you can use your precious conscious energy for new tasks. The downside of course is that the robot runs by itself even when you have changed your mind about where you want to go. But once the robot bangs your head into a wall a few times you may want to consciously decide to override that energy cycle. It is initially hard to do but it can be done. Change can be painful but if you truly set your mind on it, the reinforcing positive change can also release enormous energy in you. And very much like you created your old habit before, once your subconscious has been overridden, the new direction will be as natural for you as the old routine once was before.

 Buddha left his kingdom and Eckhart Tolle left his academic career. There are many stories of people who experienced spiritual renaissance sometime in their middle age. We experienced this transformation as well and one may be in store for you.  We change directions when the old path has become meaningless for us. But once you are on a lookout for something new, we claim that you can suddenly perceive a red threat that connects everything:  a right job, the right family, meaningful friends and colleagues and limitless opportunities for creative outlets. You have the right to experience fun, love and meaning all at the same time. Let the Tao assist you in your change of plan.

If you find resistance in what you do currently, honor that constraint. Life has a habit of pushing you in the direction that works for you. Embrace change, don't fight it. Every habit can be overridden; start with a vision of your personal success and happiness and let the Tao implement it for you step by step. Our whole life is nothing but a big game, but the outcome is hardly random. You decide on where you want to go and the Tao will propel you in the right direction. So put on your game face and have fun along the Way.

By Christian and Su Zhen

The Holy Now is Here For Everyone

A colleague commented this morning - seemingly out of the blue - that breakfast cereal is so smooth when you eat it, yet, when you let it sit for a couple of hours, it becomes hard as stone. Yes, I thought to myself, it is exactly as the holy Now. When you are part of the flow, the holy Now becomes so mendable. Yet, if you resist it, or put your own filter over it,  the train has left the station.

All spiritual writers ever do is to talk about the holy Now. The irony is, when Eckhart Tolle tried publishing his book, "The Power of Now", he was turned down by one publisher with the correct remarks that this idea is as old as spirituality itself. Yet, what spiritual bestseller it turned out to be! Everyone has access to the holy Now, spiritual or not. Psychologists, athletes, song writers, poets, sages, everyone has soon the holy Now in action. Some call it flow, one moment in time, Tao, synchronicity or holy spirit.

While I believe that everyone has access to the incredible creativity and power of the holy moment, we spiritual folks are especially receptive to the love that is in the air. As Jesus once said, "wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be"! The holy Now is there for everyone, but only you can make it the present it is meant to be, an encounter with Her now - and thus eternal.

Using The Law of Attraction for Spiritual Growth

The Law of Attraction states that you attract everything that happens to you. The 'secret crowd'tries you exploit this law in order to get something.  I tend to use the LoA in an indirect fashion. Observe everything that happens to you, and try to monitor your subconscious game plan accordingly.  If problems hit you, that just means that you have to dig down deep and figure out which psychological hurdles you still have to take. Viewed from this perspective there is really nothing to fear. Everything that happens to you is just a perfect opportunity to become whole here right now.

What exactly do you know about your subconscious, well little to nothing, that's the whole point of the below-your-conscious-surface expression. The good news though, the environment that you are creating for yourself with all the personal interactions that you are experiencing speaks volumes about what is going on below the surface. Whenever I feel tensions in myself, or face resistance with people or in situations, I always ask myself 'What is the learning opportunity here?' Until the day when you are whole, that is when everything you do reflects your true - conscious as well as subconscious - being, you will always attract healing opportunities into your life. Welcome them and put your best foot forward and before you know it, the lesson plan will be completed.

The master of 'the secret' - if something like that is possible - will have everything. But will she have the secret to happiness? The Tao master will do God's will instead, moment by moment, and with it happiness is guaranteed. Peace and happiness implies ever-present connectedness with the Source.