My father recently passed away. Since then I have been riding an emotional roller coaster. One day, I feel I am totally fine while the next day, I feel incredibly sad, scared, and full of pain. I remember one day in particular when I was really down. I felt lonely and life seemed to be really unfair. I felt that the whole world was having fun while I was hurting bad. But then I reminded myself that life in fact is quite fair. Everyone goes through this. We all suffer at some point or other losses and disappointments. One day we will all die, rich or poor, beautiful or ugly.
When I had this realization, out of a sudden, I felt that I was liberated. I was there on the same footing with everyone else; equally experiencing what it means to be the human; the joy of birth, the happiness of success, the pain of loss, and the fear of death…suddenly, I didn’t feel lonely at all…suddenly, I felt that I was well taken care of.
I also learned to balance myself through this emotional roller coaster experience. What should we really attach ourselves to? Nothing! Except for our own awareness and observation which as meaningful to our soul development, everything else is surreal. As soon as we are happy for something, the downside of life is already lurking. As soon as we are sad or disappointed, life silently lifts us up….just experience everything with an equal mind and know that whatever you are experiencing, soon you are going to experience different things and have different feelings. There is no need to be sad or happy for all these fleeting things…just experience them as they are, absorb them and center yourself again. However the world is changing, whatever life has brought you, you are there watching, experiencing with an pair of eternal eyes; you are there experiencing everything just like every one does, but you always have the choice to be free.
When I saw this truth of life, I suddenly felt free.
By Su Zhen