Saying Yes to Love

There is a choice that you have power to make when you have seen the real alternatives. Until that point is reached you have no choice.
(A Course in Miracles)

Isn't it always the case that when you look back you feel as if you have been asleep? I at least have that impression about my past. Do you know that brain imaging shows in decision times a light bulb going off moments before we are consciously aware of our decision? Are we all just taken for a ride in a massive virtual movie plot and we only think that we are in charge? Could well be. The bible says that Adam fell asleep in the Garden of Eden and nowhere does it say that he ever woke up.

Saying "yes" to the Way can be hard work, so I am pretty sure that once you are a spiritual traveler you have at least gained partial consciousness. Saying "yes" to love even though the "I" screams into your ears does take effort. While you think that you are abused when you reach that fork in the road, it is not so. All that you do is to stand up to your own interferences that have prevented you all the while to appreciate the Way. This agony is just temporary. Soon the decision for love and for life becomes automatic; a no-brainer really!

The Serenity of Walking the Tao

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
(The Serenity Prayer)

The energy exchange of people can be studied every day. I love observing seating arrangements in company gatherings, and although they sometimes seem to be completely random, they always set the agenda in advance. The other day I was pushed into a corner spot by a colleague which always tells me that I am just participating and not leading the discussion. Indeed, when we discussed personnel decisions, I wanted to speak up on behalf of a colleague but I realized quickly that it was a lost cause - the outcome was already predetermined before the meeting started. I am sure that I would have found that out on my own in the meeting, but I kind of already knew that I had a good opportunity to shut up based on the seating arrangement. The person who proposed the agenda also sat at the head of the table, while everyone else was sitting around him. In the Western set-up at least, this symbolizes that the person at the head of the table is in the driving seat and, as it turned out, he had already decided on the outcome. So I didn't need the courage to change things, because I already had the wisdom to know that nothing could be changed about the outcome. The Tao gives you that wisdom, just study the energy dynamics for yourself next time you are in a similar setting.

A Clean Conscience

When you come home each day from a hard day of work or study, why do you think you are mentally so exhausted? Perhaps it is not the hard work per se but the way how you have spent your psychic energy; torn by your conflicting desires, your fears, your ambitions and worries. I have a hunch that a spiritual path traveler has an advantage over the ordinary folks in this direction since the further down the road you travel, the less you have to decide and even to do. Over and over you decide for love, for compassion and against your own personal agenda until at one point your subconscious gets it and with every 'automatic' choice your psychic energy is no longer being drained. You also trust that whatever the Tao throws your way is important and meaningful in its own way, so sooner or later the worries and fears start disappearing. "Be ye as little children" says the bible. Yes, children are tired when they go to bed, but their psychic energies haven't been drained. That is why you only see adults with alcohol in front of the television or the Internet; the zombie state happens when your psychic energy is gone.

There are interesting psychological experiments that state that simply thinking about stabbing a coworker in the back leaves people more inclined to buy soap, disinfectant or detergent. The point is that your system absorbs every mental conflict and anguish. If you want to have access to 100 % of your psychic energy, you need to have a perfectly clean conscience. Spiritual path travelers who manage to become as little children have a shot at that. Gary Lachman presented a weird hypothesis about our ancestors in "A Secret History of Consciousness", what, he asks, if they always heard a voice in their head telling them what to do. There can be no conflict of interest if you always have a straight line to your personal God. While I have little to say about that theory, but it did strike me when I read his book that the Tao traveler intuitively ends up in a similar state. You just follow clues, sooner or later all choices along your path are just obvious. With a clean conscious you can lighten up on cleaning products, alcohol and media. Perhaps you have even the energy to play with your children tonight.

The One I Truly Am

God in the Conversations with God often talks about the One Who You Truly Are. But He also reminds you that this definition has to come from you and no one else.

I once read the story of an opera singer who had a terrible case of a stage fright in front of a big show. While it looked as if he couldn't perform at all, he suddenly got up an screamed "I will not allow this fear get the upper hand of my true self!" and stormed onto the stage. Another brilliant application of Susan Jeffer's 'Feel the fear and do it anyway."

'Feel the desire and then do it or drop it' would be my advice. It is this decision that defines Who You Truly Are. Anticipating how you might decide if given a choice is also of little help. It is the feeling at this golden moment when you make this decision that matters and nothing else. The nice thing, you cannot really make a mistake in this soul-searching process. If you feel after your choice that you made a mistake, you can always reposition yourself and try again. The universe will always give you new chances to define yourself. 

Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't

A spiritual path is an ongoing stream of decisions. You may be working hard, you may be running at times, but your head is always clear because every decision you make effortlessly follows the preceding one. Kerry Spackman described this idea nicely in 'The Winner's Bible' by running a race against a Kayak champion. He altered the rudder of the other boat, letting it drift to the right, and managed to beat him despite the opponent's skill and strength. Having a clear mind and a clear conscious is a huge advantage over a foggy mind and a heavy bag of guilt. You may face 'damned if you do and damned if you don't moments' along the way, that's part of life, but they will clear up if you always put your best foot forward and if you are willing to make tough choices. Before you know it the fog will settle and your boat will aim straight as an arrow into the sunshine.