Resolving Conflicts Along the Way

Kerry Spackman presented a great idea in his book, 'The Winner's Bible': why don't we put everything that really matters to us in a book. His concept is presented in the Law of Attraction spirit arguing that we can get whatever we set our heart on as long as we visualize and believe it. I would recommend using his methodology a little differently. We spiritual travelers want to go Home, and along this path we have to solve many conflicts; the endless clashes of ego and spirit. I believe Kerry Spackman's methodology can be very helpful resolving these conflicts.

What conflicts have you discovered inside? Is there something that you want to get that your spiritual super-ego frowns on? Maybe you like sex but you discover that your partnership has lost some of its steam. Maybe you aspire to have beautiful luxury items but your low-paying job puts them out of your reach. And maybe you like climbing the corporate ladder but you find that someone is holding you back; and you mind that very much. And maybe you live like a monk would without realizing that you repress what is truly meaningful to you in the name of spirituality.

We in the spiritual community claim that love trumps the ego; we feel that compassion and consideration overpowers the 'me, myself and I' cry. The problem though, until we truly experience this paradigm for ourself, we will always fluctuate between what the ego wants and what our spiritual conscience tells us to do. Yet, the paradigm is true and once we discover oneness and love in everything we do, all conflicts are a thing of the past. 

Every conflict of interest is life's invite to find the Way. Being conflicted just means that we have to revise our life story a little. Never compromise on your mission to perceive love and oneness in every situation, but be open to revise some of your spiritual norms when you have to. When desires and our notion of holiness clash, maybe it is time to say no to our ego, or just maybe, it is an opportunity to revise our notion of holiness a little. Write down everything your heart desires, even if some goals clash. If something is meaningful, the Way will make it work for us. Our conflicts define our spiritual growth, set us up for transcendence and provide meaningful insights along the Way. Let the Tao write your life story without any conflicts and fulfilling for your soul.

The Lesson of the Bamboo Tree

There was once a massive bamboo tree that gave its owner a lot of joy. The tree was very happy and always felt appreciated. But then one day the owner came and said that a storm had devastated a neighbor's roof. So he needed to cut a number of branches to help out. Naturally, the tree was very sad but then it figured that there will still be plenty of branches left over, so the tree agreed.

The tree and the owner lived happily for many more years together but then one day the owner approached the tree again and said that he needed to cut it down as the town was in need of wood to build a bridge to a new school. The tree was devastated and no matter how much it contemplated the situation it just couldn't agree to such a violent act. The owner thanked the tree for its decades of service but reminded it that bamboo trees do not live that long. So if instead it would serve scores of children for decades to come in form of a bridge, it's existence would be so much more meaningful. That made sense to the tree and it graciously gave permission to the owner to be cut.

At home I have a "bible" based on Kerry Spackman's "The Winner's Bible". You write down the stuff that is important to you, you make plans for the future and you record major accomplishments that were really important for you. The bible describes your path and can be altered every day and every step along the Way. Yet, if you are really honest with yourself, you will probably find - like I had to - that there can be conflicts between what you really want and what your spiritual notion of your Self tells you. That's ok, just keep on rearranging and re-defining your goals until one day the vision of yourself merges with your Self. Often it is by getting exactly what you want, but sometimes it is by understanding that a different outcome is more meaningful, just like the bamboo tree had to find out.

That's what a spiritual path does for you, but you have to bring your conflicts out in the open otherwise life cannot interact with you. The worst thing is that you repress what is truly meaningful to you in the name of spirituality. Life will always force everything to the surface, so make it a conscious soul finding process instead. The Winner's Bible can help you!

2013: The Year of Thinking Big

Each new year is the time of reflection for many, so perhaps you can take some time, sit quietly and ask yourself, what kind of life do you want to experience? Aim high! Can you picture what you aspire in your mind and actually feel all the joy and excitement as if your dreams already have come true?

Do you want to have a job which can channel your energy in a creative way and let you experience the joy of fulfilling yourself and having the lifestyle you aspire? What is it? Can you picture yourself being at work always with a big smile? Can you see yourself commuting to work whistling as you look forward to another day expressing your creativity and hanging out with people who you admire, respect and even love?

Describe this environment a little more. How integrated are you with your colleagues and friends? Do you see the creative ideas pouring out of you, the love that you share with others, the meaning you have from doing your job?  The more detail you can picture of this job, the more you can connect with this image and feel the joy of doing this job, the better.

How do you picture your life at home? What relationship do you want to experience? Do you want to have a family or do you want to lead a single life? Do you want to enjoy the love of having an extended spiritual family at home with all your soul siblings; share and support each other fulfill each other’s dreams? Or do you prefer keeping your independence at home but expressing your love and care for others in your life mission instead? There is no right or wrong, just ask yourself, what do you really want to experience?

What kind of body do you want to have? A fit, healthy and energetic body? What kind of sex life do you aspire to have? How physical do you want to be at work and in your creative outlets? What appearance would you like to have and what persona do you want to project?

Take your time and ask yourself these questions. When all the images show up in your mind, light up a candle, light up the light in your heart, close your eyes and picture all theses experiences you want to experience, with smile on your face. With the inner light in you, with the inner guide in you, you are able to experience your dream life.

Kerry Spackman presents an excellent way of sketching the life of your dreams in The Winner's Bible. He suggests to collect photos, achievements, goals, dreams and put them together in a folder and update them as the month unfold. Put only things into your folder that are really meaningful to you. If the neurons in your brain light up and your heart-beat quickens, or you just feel incredible joy, love and peace associated with a particular page, you probably are onto something. Think big along the lines we have suggested, but please also be flexible to change priorities over time. Traveling a spiritual path is a process. You have to separate ego fantasies from spiritual facts, have to understand trade-offs and you just have to simply discover who you truly are. The Tao will show you who you truly are and will create the environment that is truly meaningful for you.

Please do not start with preconceived notions of what God thinks is right for you or not. You go after your dreams and everything that is truly meaningful to you will be given to you. It will certainly not be a straight line, it will certainly take a little bit to connect all the dots, but soon enough the contours of your dream will become visible to you and at that point you will go after your dreams with everything you got. With the Tao as your guide, you are safe and well guided. May your dreams come true!

By Christian and Su Zhen

Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't

A spiritual path is an ongoing stream of decisions. You may be working hard, you may be running at times, but your head is always clear because every decision you make effortlessly follows the preceding one. Kerry Spackman described this idea nicely in 'The Winner's Bible' by running a race against a Kayak champion. He altered the rudder of the other boat, letting it drift to the right, and managed to beat him despite the opponent's skill and strength. Having a clear mind and a clear conscious is a huge advantage over a foggy mind and a heavy bag of guilt. You may face 'damned if you do and damned if you don't moments' along the way, that's part of life, but they will clear up if you always put your best foot forward and if you are willing to make tough choices. Before you know it the fog will settle and your boat will aim straight as an arrow into the sunshine.

Addiction: Highway to Hell

I once met someone who was abused as a child by his father and he described how his father exposed himself and masturbated in front of him you could literally see how his eyes drifted into a trance. It appeared as if he was literally unconscious as he abused his son.

 Even though all addictions seem so different, from gambling to sex and substance abuse, as you approach the high the mind turns on autopilot in all cases. You feel the surge of energy, the increased heart beat, the surge of blood into your brain, followed by the feeling of something taking over and you are suddenly hooked: 'Escape from Freedom' as Erich Fromm put this phenomenon so succinctly, take a few steps in the wrong direction and you are on the highway to hell.

If you are on the highway to hell, you still always can turn your car around. I don't believe that there is a point of no return. If you dig a hole for yourself you can dig yourself out of it as well; only you have to know what you are fighting for. Kerry Spackman in his book 'The Winner's Bible' described the remarkable turn- around of one of his clients who managed to beat a highly addictive chemical substance the moment she realized that without a change in her life she would loose her son. She put a photo up of him and quit - that's it! Her story may be an outlier success story, but the remedy for all who travel on the highway to life is the same: the opposite direction on this highway is to say 'yes to life', even though it hurts a lot in the beginning. Saying 'yes to life' means taking ownership of decisions instead of escaping.