Love Heals the Mistakes of the Past

I grew up in a complicated family.  Both my parents were widowed before they met each other.  In each case, their loved one had passed away quite unexpectedly.  When I was little, although no one had told me about it, I could sense there was something in this family that wasn't quite right; some heaviness, some sadness, some secrets. Neither my parents had ever talked about their first spouse; neither of my siblings, relatives or family friends talked about it. It was a taboo; a dark family secret. Do you know how heavy and tense it is when you tried to keep a secret?  

Nevertheless, as I got older, I figured stuff out just by putting the pieces together. Several years ago, when I was looking for a remedy for my autistic son, I joined one of Bert Hellinger’s workshops and had him do one family constellation for me.  During the session, he found out that there were two murder cases in my family, which caused the disorder of my son and myself. I was really devastated and confused at that session because he said that I had autism that needed healing as well. At that moment I had difficulties making this jump. After all, I came to heal my son's autism. Objectively, I never witnessed any of his symptoms. 

After the session, I went home and asked my mother about the murder cases.  She said she couldn’t remember any murder cases in my father’s family, neither in her family.  I was confused anyway. Six years have passed after the healing session. Two days ago, an insight came to me out of the blue. I finally realized, yes, I have some autistic symptoms too; and yes, there were murders cases in my family history although it didn’t happen in my immediate family. It happened in my mother’s former spouse’s family.  I didn’t really know any of the details. I only knew he killed some people and was put into the jail, and released after a while.  Apparently, this murder case caused lots of turbulence across my wider family. People were deeply bothered and terrified. No one dared to associate with him or even talk to him after he was released from jail. I suddenly remembered a vivid childhood memory; we bumped into him on the road and we were so scared that he would suddenly lose his mind and hurt us.  At that moment I saw frightened souls!

Today I understand my role and that of my son. We are here to shoulder the burdens of the frightened souls; we are here to heal the pain and undo the mistakes of the past. I would ask, aren't we all? Aren't there dark family secrets in every household; in the struggling as well as the pristine ones. It is ok you know, we are all human; we are all here to appreciate all the good qualities of our family and we happily shoulder some of the stuff that they somehow couldn't achieve themselves; just as we are happy to leave some homework for our children. Love always heals the mistakes of the past.

By Su Zhen

2013: The Year of Thinking Big

Each new year is the time of reflection for many, so perhaps you can take some time, sit quietly and ask yourself, what kind of life do you want to experience? Aim high! Can you picture what you aspire in your mind and actually feel all the joy and excitement as if your dreams already have come true?

Do you want to have a job which can channel your energy in a creative way and let you experience the joy of fulfilling yourself and having the lifestyle you aspire? What is it? Can you picture yourself being at work always with a big smile? Can you see yourself commuting to work whistling as you look forward to another day expressing your creativity and hanging out with people who you admire, respect and even love?

Describe this environment a little more. How integrated are you with your colleagues and friends? Do you see the creative ideas pouring out of you, the love that you share with others, the meaning you have from doing your job?  The more detail you can picture of this job, the more you can connect with this image and feel the joy of doing this job, the better.

How do you picture your life at home? What relationship do you want to experience? Do you want to have a family or do you want to lead a single life? Do you want to enjoy the love of having an extended spiritual family at home with all your soul siblings; share and support each other fulfill each other’s dreams? Or do you prefer keeping your independence at home but expressing your love and care for others in your life mission instead? There is no right or wrong, just ask yourself, what do you really want to experience?

What kind of body do you want to have? A fit, healthy and energetic body? What kind of sex life do you aspire to have? How physical do you want to be at work and in your creative outlets? What appearance would you like to have and what persona do you want to project?

Take your time and ask yourself these questions. When all the images show up in your mind, light up a candle, light up the light in your heart, close your eyes and picture all theses experiences you want to experience, with smile on your face. With the inner light in you, with the inner guide in you, you are able to experience your dream life.

Kerry Spackman presents an excellent way of sketching the life of your dreams in The Winner's Bible. He suggests to collect photos, achievements, goals, dreams and put them together in a folder and update them as the month unfold. Put only things into your folder that are really meaningful to you. If the neurons in your brain light up and your heart-beat quickens, or you just feel incredible joy, love and peace associated with a particular page, you probably are onto something. Think big along the lines we have suggested, but please also be flexible to change priorities over time. Traveling a spiritual path is a process. You have to separate ego fantasies from spiritual facts, have to understand trade-offs and you just have to simply discover who you truly are. The Tao will show you who you truly are and will create the environment that is truly meaningful for you.

Please do not start with preconceived notions of what God thinks is right for you or not. You go after your dreams and everything that is truly meaningful to you will be given to you. It will certainly not be a straight line, it will certainly take a little bit to connect all the dots, but soon enough the contours of your dream will become visible to you and at that point you will go after your dreams with everything you got. With the Tao as your guide, you are safe and well guided. May your dreams come true!

By Christian and Su Zhen