Taboos

Norman Mailer describes his own Conversation with God in On God - An Uncommon Conversation. He remembered one day when he was dumped by his woman and went out on a drinking spree hoping he would get lucky, but he didn't and ended up sitting drunk in a diner with a coffee and breakfast. Suddenly he heard a voice 'Just get up and leave". What do you mean, he wondered, I can't just leave without paying my bill. When he reflected some more he realized that as an author describing the eternal human struggle between good and evil, he should be able to cheat a poor waitress out of her well deserved money. You little prick, he said, just get up and leave!

What are taboos? They are mental constructs and change over time and cultures. It can be very liberating to tear those walls down, and may be part of the psychological healing process. Of course, I am not suggesting you should be irresponsible in your actions, but I am saying it may be useful to shake your internal walls a little. Let's go back to the example above. Perhaps our waitress would have gladly forgone her 5 bucks if his strange behaviour inspired Normal Mailer to his next bestseller.

Betrayal

Incest is a taboo and always will be. Genetically, things don't work out when family members have offspring. Psychologically, the abused party will be severely damaged. When family members take advantage of you, you have a hard time comprehending the betrayal since in a way they are part of you. How can you distrust your own self?

These weird thoughts came to me after a strange dream. I dreamt I had finally figured out that my wife was evil. I threw her out of the house, formed a cross with my fingers and sang "Go away scary monster, go away". Don't be afraid, my life is not quite as messed up as this note appears. When I woke up I felt incredibly peaceful. My wife is the most loving person I have ever met, not even my subconscious would doubt for an instant her love. I knew that she must have been be a symbol for something else, but what?

Then it hit me, there is only one person in this world who is as close to me as my wife, it is me. This dream was about the ego. I had finally discovered that there is a force inside myself that is trying to hold me back from going home. More than holding me back, this force is undermining my journey and trying to manipulate me. I have read many books and notes on the ego, but it was always an abstract concept. After all, the I is me, the supposed True Self seems pure speculation. But now that I have felt what it means to be betrayed, I don't think the journey home will take long anymore. It is good to know who your true friends are.