Sunday, September 20, 2009


Incest is a taboo and always will be. Genetically, things don't work out when family members have offspring. Psychologically, the abused party will be severely damaged. When family members take advantage of you, you have a hard time comprehending the betrayal since in a way they are part of you. How can you distrust your own self?

These weird thoughts came to me after a strange dream. I dreamt I had finally figured out that my wife was evil. I threw her out of the house, formed a cross with my fingers and sang "Go away scary monster, go away". Don't be afraid, my life is not quite as messed up as this note appears. When I woke up I felt incredibly peaceful. My wife is the most loving person I have ever met, not even my subconscious would doubt for an instant her love. I knew that she must have been be a symbol for something else, but what?

Then it hit me, there is only one person in this world who is as close to me as my wife, it is me. This dream was about the ego. I had finally discovered that there is a force inside myself that is trying to hold me back from going home. More than holding me back, this force is undermining my journey and trying to manipulate me. I have read many books and notes on the ego, but it was always an abstract concept. After all, the I is me, the supposed True Self seems pure speculation. But now that I have felt what it means to be betrayed, I don't think the journey home will take long anymore. It is good to know who your true friends are.

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