Loyalty

He never walks away.
He never asks for money,
he takes care of me.
He loves me;
piece by piece
he restored my faith;
that a man can be kind
and a father could stay.

(Piece by Piece, Kelly Clarkson)

They say Leos are loyal. Whether it is my star sign or the wounds of previous life times, I don't know. But somehow all my life I found meaning in sticking to whatever mission I had signed up to. There were times during my graduate school days, and in my job as a financial strategist when I was nearly crushed under the weight of the load I was carrying, but I somehow kept going. As I grew older, and as I discovered the WAY, I realized that this path is just one story; it doesn't have to be that way. Many roads lead to Rome, and there is no right or wrong in choosing what is meaningful to us. Change is part of the WAY. Sometimes it is just best to shrug your shoulders and let people and jobs drift away. In fact, I have become quite good at that, given that I simply follow the signs of the WAY without thinking twice about it.

I remember the story of a friend who told me that he divorced his first wife because she didn't share his sexual excitement. I cringed when I heard it then, thinking to myself, "well, perhaps you should have tried a bit harder." Today I know that I had no business judging him that way; we all have to follow what is meaningful for us. Still, when I followed his life story it only strengthened my earlier assessment. His second marriage, which I figure had its fair share of steamy sex in it, broke off after a few years as well, and two little girls got caught in the cross-fire of an ugly divorce. Meanwhile my friend is with his third wife and from the sound of it he made peace with his life story. Unfortunately we lost sight of each other, so I don't know his perspective in hindsight.

Isn't that how life goes? We all create our life story and no one should have any right to judge the other without having walked in their shoes. But we have to know what is meaningful to us, and we choose these pillars as the foundation for the Taj Mahal that we are building in our life time. My cornerstones are loyalty and love, and the WAY crafts my spiritual mission around it. Listening to Kelly Clarkson's emotional performance of her song Piece by Piece on American Idol the other day made me feel a bit proud. No matter what monsters might step in my way, the people close to me can always count on me being there for them every step of the WAY.

Have a look at Kelly's touching performance:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9FHYBQxURQo 

Healing Disturbed Souls

There's a place that I know,
it's not pretty there and few have ever gone.
If I show it to you now
will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
even if it hurts
even if i try to push you out
will you return?
And remind me who i really am,
please remind me who i really am!

Like a diamond
from black dust
it's hard to know
what can become.
If you give up,
so don't give up on me
please remind me who i really am.

Everybody's got a dark side.
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it,
you know that we're worth it.
Will you love me
even with my dark side?

Don't run away,
don't run away.
Just tell me that you will stay,
promise me you will stay.
Don't run away,
don't run away.
Just promise me you will stay,
promise me you will stay
Will you love me? Ohh
(Kelly Clarkson, Dark Side)

A disturbed soul is cranky.  She acts weird and talks irrationally.  When you take her conversation and action seriously, or perhaps worse, when you try to correct her behavior and thinking, she will only get more furious.  Yet, you are all confused and puzzled by her behavior and don't really know what to do except, perhaps, trying to avoid her.

 Why does a disturbed soul acts up?  What exactly triggers the fury in her? You might as well ask what launches a tornado in the Caribbean.  All she needs and wants is just your attention although otherwise she may have no ideas what she really wants herself. The problem though, her outrageous behavior will only drive you away and then she gets even crankier.

 Pay attention to these disturbed souls.  You may find them everywhere, in your family or at work. They can be friends and sometimes even strangers. They need your love, attention, and acceptance. Deal with them to the best of your ability and they will always have a present in hand for you afterwards. Never try to change their behavior or argue with them.  Accept them and let love heal everything.  With your love and attention, silently, the demon will deflate. Who knows where the darkness once came from, let the light in and let love heal both of you.

By Christian and Su Zhen

Mr. Know It All's Shadow

Mr. Know It All
Well ya think you know it all
But ya don't know a thing at all
Ain't it, ain't it something y'all
When somebody tells you something 'bout you
Think that they know you more than you do
So you take it down another pill to swallow

Mr. Bring Me Down
Well ya, ya like to bring me down, don't you?
But I ain't laying down, baby, I ain't goin' down
Can't nobody tell me how it's gonna be
Nobody's gonna make a fool out of me
Baby, you should know that I lead not follow

Mr. Play Your Games
Only got yourself to blame when you want me back again
But I ain't falling back again
'Cause I'm living my truth without your lies
Let's be clear baby this is goodbye
I ain't coming back tomorrow

So what you've got the world at your feet
And you know everything about everything
But you don't
You still think I'm coming back but baby you'll see yeah...

Mr. Know It All
Well ya think you know it all
But ya don't know a thing at all
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

[Chorus:]
Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
'Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me
You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me

Mr. Know-it All, Kelly Clarkson

Isn't Kelly's "Mr. Know It All" yet another great shadow song? Her "Dark Side" already captures the shadow theme beautifully but with a little interpretation, "Mr. Know It All" can be viewed as an exchange between the dry intellect, the desire to be on a "clean" self-improvement course with the impulsive feeling component of our being who lives in a completely different world and has a completely different agenda. Come down from your pedestal Mr. Know It All , engage with her and chances are Kelly will dance with you.

Pain Buddies

In our relationships with others, whether it is a parent-child relationship, the relationship between lovers, or perhaps just friendships, there are sometimes mutual learning opportunities that involve pain. We are often unwilling to accept these dark spots in ourselves, yet others, often people we care a lot about, force us to confront them. A little prick and all hell breaks loose. At this point we don't even see our friends and family, we only see our own projections of the painful situation. We are unable to see the whole picture just because the dark spot is in the way.

This undigested pain is taking reality away from you time and time again. Whenever it is active, you relive your past and can not see reality as is. You are literally living in the dark. You probably know by now the situations and the people that trigger your pain body. Once activated, you are reliving your past in the new situation. You have a chance to erase the dark spot, but you must be willing to look. The darker the spot, the more intensely you have to look. If you just project your pain to the party who triggered it, the movie will keep on replaying itself.

This is your movie and you have a possibility to step out of it, very much like an actor is leaving a movie set after the movie is finished. The moment you realize that the inner movie is replaying itself, you have a chance to free yourself from this pain body. The demons of the past will vanish if you like a heroine are willing to face the pain this time around. No projection, just objectively looking at the situation despite the tears, despite the anger and despite the incredible pain. The pain from the past needs to be healed, so stay with it until the pain calms down by itself.

Many of us have the expectation that the ones who are so dear to our heart will love us unconditionally. While this expectation hopefully comes true, there are several problems. When we are experiencing our pain, we are actually not able to see clearly. Our friends and soul siblings stand there with a stretched-out helping hand, yet, we accuse them of causing our pain. We accuse them of not loving us. It takes a lot of faith to keep on walking despite the doubts that torment our mind. The other problem is that our friends and soul siblings have their psychological baggage that they need to let go of. You have searched and found each other to heal each other. You are pain buddies. May you both have the faith, patience and strength to carry each other.

My dear friends, yes there is pain but if you put your best foot forward, trust that your friend and soul sibling will be able to do the same. Trust each other, trust that you each have the key in your hand to unlock the other's closet that hides the monsters of the past. Trust that your friend and soul sibling will be worthy to make it through your dark side. When we wrote this note, Kelly Clarkson was playing on the radio. It looks like she puts her faith into her pain buddy herself:

Oh no, oh oh, there's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am!

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond
From black dust
It's hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don't give up on me
Please remind me who I really am!

Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? ohh

Don't run away
Don't run away

Don't run away
Promise you'll stay
(Kelly Clarkson, Dark Side)


By Christian & Su Zhen