Just Say Om

Feelings are much like waves; you can't stop them, but you can decide which one to ride. (Unknown)

The so-called ego is really an energy field; it wraps itself around our unique personality structure and helps us to express the longings of our soul. The opportunity though, there comes a time when you wake up to the fact that a feeling and a thought is just an energy wave; it doesn't have to be part of you. 

Caroline Knapp in her book, "Appetites - Why Women Want", described one such tsunami wave that may have battered her system on a bad day: "I hate my body, I hate my thighs, I ate too much. I can't believe I spent so much money. I haven't been to the gym in weeks. I shouldn't have said that. I am such an idiot. I am such a piece of shit!" That is the yin version of the cancerous ego drive. Yin is the energy that goes inwards, the submission, the sacrifices, the anger directed against oneself. You can hear it in Caroline Knapp's outburst; she wants to be attractive, slim, smart, economical, only to find that she somehow can't have what she wants. 

The yin aspect of the ego madness is quite relevant for us spiritual travelers. We want to be holy and we are willing to suffer, to be trampled on in the name of spirituality. Unfortunately, submission and sacrifice always implies subconsciously, and sometimes openly, hostility against others: how dare they have what we are unwilling to grant ourselves? The yang version of the ego drive we also know well. The desire to conquer, to take, to step on other people's toes. Neither energy form is part of the Way. Whenever we ride any of these energy waves, be they incoming or outgoing, we deviate from our Self.

So what exactly can we do? It is not that hard really, just become a seasoned surfer in the ocean called life. Friends always surround us. They are here to lift us up when we beat ourselves up and remind us of who we truly are. Friends and family are also there in the other side, when we are tempted to abuse others, blinded by our greed, aggression or fears. Life is beautiful this way. The solution that works for everyone, your Self included, is always just around the corner. Seize the moment and don't forget to just say "Om" at times, whenever one of these energy waves wants to take you on another wild-goose's chase.

Just Look

Has it ever happened to you that someone says something " accidentally", but it feels like you are cut by a knife? Is that person just mean and wants to intentionally hurt you, or is she triggering a fear that is hidden deep inside? Do not lose sleep over the intention of your friend, do something about the fear inside that needs to be worked on. Perhaps you can observe for yourself, the more you try to avoid the issue inside you that you need to face, the more often it comes up in conversations.

 Maybe you can untie this knot yourself.  We know it is hard to face your fears and hurt feelings, but if you are just willing to look at these issues they are never as insurmountable as it first appears. You probably want to run away from these feeling like we all do. It is as if a little child is waiting inside of us who has no clue what is happening. The inner child needs your support and your fearlessness to look. So what exactly is inside that haunted house? When you take the inner child by the hand and you both look together you will almost always find some links to the past. Understanding where your fears come from is an important first step in tackling your problems, accepting your weaknesses and trying to move ahead despite of them is the road towards healing the old wounds altogether.

Your psychological land mines are already there, hidden deep in your subconscious. What the people say to you is just a reaction to your own energy field. You literally invite others to step on them. The good news is you can make an end to these panic attacks. If you are willing to look you can defuse your psychological mines and the longer you do this, the more you realize that even if one or two still get activated by others, it is nothing but hot air. It was you who heard the explosion before, no one else ever did.

Nothing happens by accident. Friends my have "accidentally" touched an old injury or your so-called foes may have deliberately dug the knife a couple of inches deeper. It doesn't matter. One thing you can be sure of, when you address your fears those incidents will naturally fade out of your life. Friends will no longer mention it, while your so-called foes will naturally disappear out of your life for the very reason that they  no longer serve a purpose. Try it and experience this healing process for yourself.

By Su Zhen and Christian